Related:

• I'm so nervous, yesterday I got a fingernail transplant!
• 101 EASY WAYS TO SAY NO I'd love to, but... 1 I have to floss my cat.
  2 I've dedicated my life to linguini. 3 I want to spend more time with my blender....
• A young woman got married at Chester, Her mother she kissed and she blessed her.
  Says she, "You`re in luck, He's a stunning good fuck, For I`ve had him myself down in Leicester....
• My karma ran over my dogma.
• My karma ran over your dogma!
• Your karma just ran over my dogma
• Your karma just ran over my dogma.
• Use a strong east Indian accent) Hello, you have reached the existential hotline of (.
  ..). I am currently meditating, but if you leave your name and which lifeline you are currently inhabiting at the sound of the Om, I will send good karma waves and contact you whenthe stars align properly....
• In other news, the first debate between George Bush and Michael Dukakis has been scheduled for September 25th.
  We are surprised Bush agreed to this date, since we thought he would want to spend Christmas with his family....