Related:

• We were all in a car and it wouldn't start, so I told everyone to be quiet, and then it started right up!
  Why?? Cause it goes without saying......
• WEBSTER'S CLINTONESE - TO - ENGLISH DICTIONARY (FIRST EDITION) CLINTONESE ENGLISH __________ _______ "My fellow citizens" "Suckers" "I didn't inhale" "I think you're all idiots" "goals" "lies" "broad-based contributions" "taxes" "investing in our infrastructure" "pork-barrel spending" "spending cuts" "decimating the military" "jobs program" "military base lay-offs" "Vietnam" "where?
• Hubby: As a start I think you should learn to "iron", then we could do without the ironing lady.
  Blonde Wife: Well, if you would learn to fuck me properly we could do without the gardener....
• My agent was always smiling. I didn't think anybody could have that many teeth without being a barracuda.
• Cause I love my ol' tag...
• It's my idea 'cause I stole it first!
• Nay, lad! *Deciding's* not your ploy, For that's a risky game.
  It's *making a decision* That's your surest road to fame....
• OBJ. sign on the above bomb project, "Closed: Gone Fission"!
  Q: What did the blonde say to the physicist? A: "Why, I just _love_ nuclear fission!...
• Anything I make can become a cause for my sorrow.