Related:

• I can't go to no stonin' today!
• Can I go to prison for this?
• I can please only one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow isn't looking good either.
• Help the economy today...Go out and Buy something!
• I lost a button hole today.
• Don't do it today, if you can do it tomorrow!
• Unknown "How'd the golf game go today, dear? Did you win?
  "No, but I got a lot of practice. I got to hit the ball more than anyone else!...
• Daily Affirmations I no longer need to punish, deceive or compromise myself.
  Unless, of course, I want to stay employed. A good scapegoat is nearly as welcome as a solution to the problem....
• Choirboy 1: Hi! I have to go to confession today, and I'm a bit worried.
  You know this priest a long time already....