Related:

• MISCELLANEOUS THOUGHTS Early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese - think about this one.
  I'm not cheap, but I am on special this week. I almost had a psychic boyfriend but he left me before we met....
• A COLLECTION OF ONE-LINERS Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm Eagles may soa
  but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines Early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese I'm not cheap, but I am on special this week I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol I intend to live forever-so far, so good I love defenseless animals, especially in a good gravy If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?...
• One Liners If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
  A clean desk is a sign of a cluttered desk drawer....
• More One Liners * If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
  * For Sale: Parachute. Only used once, never opened, small stain....
• When you run out of time you run out of everything.
• What do you call a 12 year old virgin in Tennessee?
  -- A girl who can out run her brother. How can you tell a redneck family?...
• Polish invention : Colored invisible ink.
• How do you tell someone that they are really ugly? You are so ugly the tide won't go out with you.
• English language Let's face it -- English is a crazy language.
  There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburge...