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• Eat, drink ... be fat and drunk ...
• Q: How do you screw a fat chick? A: Flip through the folds of fat until you find the one that smells like shit, then go back one.
• 25 THOUGHTS TO GET YOU THROUGH ALMOST ANY CRISIS 1.
  Indecision is the key to flexibility. 2. You cannot tell which way the train went by looking at the track....
• A man went to see a doctor because of a very high, squeaky, annoying voice.
  The doctor examined him, and told him that the only way would be to replace his extremely large penis with a smaller one....
• Have One On Me! A drunk walks into a bar full of customers and slurs to the bartender, "Bartender, buy everyone in the house a drink, pour yourself one, and give me the bill.
  So, the bartender does just that and hands the man a bill for $...
• THE TOP 22 POLITICALLY CORRECT WAYS TO SAY SOMEONE IS STUPID 22) A few fries short of a Happy Meal.
  21) The wheel's spinning, but the hamster's dead....
• HOW FAT WAS SHE????? 1) She was so fat that I had to run her down 'cause I didn't think I had enough gas to drive around her.
  2) She was so fat, we would take her to MacDonalds to watch the numbers change....
• In response to the points list for men. Relationships are two-way streets, you know.
  Simple Duties ============= Don't whine about the bed being made....
• As you walk through the great pasturefield of life..........