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• Beep! Invalid Input. I take only cash....
• Tale Of The Sandwich Trailer Here's the background
  Bill works in a coffee, bagels, and sandwiches trailer on the campus of CSUC, Chuck is his boss and the owner of the truck, and yes, according to Bill, this actually happened....
• Earn cash in your spare time -- blackmail friends.
• This is you-know who. We are you-know-where. Leave your you-know-what you-know-when.
• NOTICE OF REVOCATION OF INDEPENDENCE To the citizens of the United States of America
  In the light of your failure to elect a President of the USA and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective today....
• YOU KNOW YOU NEED AN UPGRADE... when Microsoft tech support picks up the phone before Windows 95 finishes booting when you call tech support and they say your version of software has been obsolete for 5 years when that bright idea you had of pounding a 3-1/4" disk thin so it'll fit in the 5-1/4" slot didn't quite work when the bad blocks on your disk outnumber the good ones if your PC is big enough to use as an end table if it's so old that you can't even find a nonprofit organization that will take it as a donation when you can no longer find those special metallic cassette tapes when everyone's raving about hooking their computers up to the television and you'd never used any other kind of monitor hey
  I'm NOT upgrading my VIC 20, OK?!!! when your calculator has more RAM than your computer when your watch has more RAM than your computer when you realize that they don't use tapes anymore when it takes a Chevy pickup to haul your disk drive away when you're getting bored of those stupid Atari games like Frogger when your computer doesn't give you "nice" system errors like "Bad Command or file name" and instead formats your hard drive when you're getting tired of typing in ones and zeros when your abacus gets termites when "Solitaire" only has enough memory to use half the deck when you get the error message "Don't open so many goddam Windows at once!...
• A duck walks into a pharmacy waddles up to the prescription counter and rings the bell.
  The pharmacist walks up and asks, "Can I help you?...