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• Honey lovers stick together!
• To Windows lovers: "Get a MAC!
• Q: What John Denver song is about incest? A: "Almost Heaven," one line of which is West Virginia, mount'n mama.
• In Heaven: the cooks are French, the policemen are English, the mechanics are German, the lovers are Italian and the bankers are Swiss.
  In Hell: the cooks are English, the policemen are German, the mechanics are French, the lovers are Swiss and the bankers are Italian....
• In Heaven: the cooks are French, the policemen are English, the mechanics are German, the lovers are Italian and the bankers are Swiss.
• In Hell: the cooks are English, the policemen are German, the mechanics are French, the lovers are Swiss and the bankers are Italian.
• Q: Why don't cowboys make good lovers? A: Because they think a good ride is eight seconds.
• Q: Why do Poles make such lousy lovers? A: They always wait for the swelling to go down.
• For Shakespeare lovers only:) So long as phones can ring and eyes can see, So leave a message, and I'll get back to thee.