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• Q: How to catch a squirrel? A: Climb the tree and act like a nut.
• Q: What do you get when you mix a Mexican and a squirrel? A: A tree full of hubcaps.
• What's red and white and hangs from a tree? A baby run over by a snowblower.
• Welcome to my nightmare.
• Alexander Graham Bell was a 'phony!
• Best to avoid nightmare; Never argue with your spouse.
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• Once upon a time Little Red Riding Hood decided to visit her grandmother.
  Red took a basket with everything she needed and set out on her trip through the forest....
• The 3 kinds of lies - lies, damned lies & statistics - MT