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• Does bouncing count?
• This tag does not count. Please do not read it.
• Dr. Seuss Strikes Again!!! Can we count them with our nose?
  Can we count them with our toes? Should we count them with a band?...
• One-seventh of your life is spent on Monday!
• Better than counting your years...... is making all your years count.
• A young farm lad went away to college. To fit in with the crowd, the first thing he did was to grow a beard.
  When it had reached a suitable length, he sent a picture of himself home with a note saying...
• Purranoia: fear that your cats are plotting against you.
• Things to do When Bored -Wax the ceiling -Rearrange political campaign signs -Sharpen your teeth -Play Houdini with one of your siblings -Braid your dog's hair -Clean and polish your belly button -Water your dog.
  ..see if he grows -Wash a tree -Knight yourself -Name your child Edsel -Scare Stephen King -Give your cat a mohawk -Purr -Mow your carpet -Play Pat Boone records backwards -Vacuum your lawn -Whine -Rake your carpet -Re-elect Richard Nixon -Critique "Three's Company" -Listen to a painting -Play with matches -Buff your cat -Race ferrets -Paint your house....
• It was a warm, sunny Sunday, so a man and his wife decided to take in the zoo.
  They spent the day, and at closing time they walked past the gorilla cage, and the man noticed the gorilla looking at his wife....