Related:

• How about that footage on the news yesterday of our new Commander-in- Chief on the deck of the aircraft carrier (Teddy Roosevelt?
  ).. After throwing one of his snappy salutes (he's *almost* got that down), I half expected him to give the order, "Let's turn this thang around....
• A NEW YEAR’S ADAM ON CHRISTMAS EVE, BUD Beginnings end.
  ..and endings begin. That’s either a Biblical paraphrase or a Microsoft credo....
• POLITICALLY INCORRECT DEFINITIONS OF WHAT BILL CLINTON'S REALLY SAYING What he says.
  ...........................What he means ----------------------------------------------------------------------- "My fellow citizens"....
• Buying A Bull Two sisters, one blonde and one brunette, inherit the family ranch.
  Unfortunately, after just a few years, they are in financial trouble....
• A boy came home from school one day and went up to Dad.
  Pop, I've gotta write a paper on the difference between theory and fact....
• Two construction workers were working on the 58th floor of a new high-rise.
  One of them looked at the other and said, "I'll be right back - I have to go take a piss....
• Now that Jesse Jackson has endorsed Mr. Mondale, can we expect a press conference to announce that Gerry Ferraro has decided to do the same?
• If you can't stand the heat, turn down the volume.
• Trouble Remembering Things... An 80 year old couple were having problems remembering things, so they decided to go to their doctor to get checked out to make sure nothing was wrong with them.
  When they arrived at the doctors, they explained to the doctor about the problems they were having with their memory....