Related:

• You have to read the whole thing: The following is from a 1950's Home Economics textbook intended for the High School girls, teaching how to prepare for married life.
  1. Have dinner ready: Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal - on time....
• THE STATE OF THE UNION ADDRESS....THAT PRESIDENT CLINTON SHOULD HAVE GIVEN "Members of Congress.
  ..People of America....I banged her. I banged her like a cheap gong....
• How about that footage on the news yesterday of our new Commander-in- Chief on the deck of the aircraft carrier (Teddy Roosevelt?
  ).. After throwing one of his snappy salutes (he's *almost* got that down), I half expected him to give the order, "Let's turn this thang around....
• YOU KNOW YOUR A REDNECK IF.... You still have an 8-track tape player in your car or house.
  Your idea of safe sex doesn't include anyone else....
• There've been many minuses recently for the Miss America pageant but officials are working to destroy those negatives.
  Isn't that what Vanessa Williams should have done?...
• A motorist was unknowingly caught in an automated speed trap that measured his speed using radar and photographed his car.
  He later received in the mail a ticket for $40, and a photo of his car....
• 24 I never had Miss Defauw, But it wouldn't have been quite so raw If she'd only said "No" When I wanted her so
  But she didn't -- she laughed and said "Naw!...
• I think Santa Claus is a woman.... I hate to be the one to defy sacred myth, but I believe he's a she.
  Think about it. Christmas is a big, organized, warm, fuzzy, nurturing social deal, and I have a tough time believing a guy could possibly pull it all off!...
• The Wizard of Zone Once upon a time in Depression-era Kansas there was a little black boy named Zachary X (pronounced "ex" not "ten") who lived on a farm.
  He was an orphan, a cheap device to garner your sympathy....