Related:

• WASHINGTON, D.C. (UPIX) As the senate confirmation hearings on Supreme Court nominee Clarence C.
  Thomas drew to a close, a startling revelation was made....
• How about that footage on the news yesterday of our new Commander-in- Chief on the deck of the aircraft carrier (Teddy Roosevelt?
  ).. After throwing one of his snappy salutes (he's *almost* got that down), I half expected him to give the order, "Let's turn this thang around....
• What did Gary Hart say to Donna Rice the day after the election?
  "I said LICK THE ERECTION, not WRECK THE ELECTION !!...
• Promises are cheap," Gary Hart said in his convention speech.
  And it was good to find out SOMETHING is....
• Bring cheat sheets FOR ANOTHER CLASS (make sure this is obvious.
  .. like history notes for a calculus exam... otherwise you're not just failing, you're getting kicked out too) and staple them to the exam, with the comment "Please use the attached notes for references as you see fit....
• Q:" How many thought police does it take to screw in a light bulb?
  "A:" None, there never was any light bulb. Note: Probably the only really good light bulb joke of 1984....
• Q: How many thought police does it take to screw in a light bulb?
  A: None. There never *was* any light bulb. Note...
• IN WAKE OF JONES DISMISSAL, A NEW FOCUS FOR STARR WASHINGTON
  April 1 (Associated Press)--In the wake of the dismissal of the Paula Jones sexual-harassment lawsuit, Independent Counsel Kenneth Starr is focusing his investigation on allegations that President Clinton and members of the White House staff regularly drink red wine with fish, according to sources close to the investigation....