Related:

• The time to be suspicious of Jesse Jackson's Cuban trip is when the freed American prisoners show up at the Democratic convention as delegates.
• How many Feminists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
  1) That's not funny!!! 2) Two. One to change the bulb and one to write about how it feels....
• Two women were walking down the street. One nudges the other and says, "There's my husband coming out of the florist's with a dozen roses.
  Damn!! That means I'll have to keep my legs up in the air for three days!...
• We were surprised that the Democratic convention's start wasn't delayed for Mondale veep interviews with George Brett, Gary Carter, Dale Murphy, Dwight Gooden and Fernando Valenzuela.
• Words That Don't Exist, But Really Should... 1. AQUADEXTROUS (ak wa deks' trus) adj.
  Possessing the ability to turn the bathroom faucet on and off with your toes....
• Good News: A busload of lawyers ran off a cliff. The bus was destroyed and there were no survivors.
  Bad News: There were three empty seats....
• As we read the GOP delegates, there were conservatives, conserveratives and conservistatives.
• One speaker at this summer's Democratic national convention will be Jimmy Carter.
  Apparently no one fears a spontaneous movement to draft him....