Drunk Gets Nine Months In Violin Case

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• This guy walks into an opthamologist's office with a violin case.
  He waits for his appointment and is shown into the doctor's office....
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• Santa Claus, the tooth fairy, an honest lawyer and an old drunk are walking down the street together when they simultaneously spot a hundred dollar bill.
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• Brace yourself, Mr. Cassidy," the physician told the patient on whom he had performed a battery of costly tests.
  You have approximately six months to live." "But I don't have insurance, doctor," said Cassidy, "and I can't skimp and save enough to pay you in that time!...