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• Various Nights Before Christmas... A Microsoft Christmas 'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house Not a creature was stirring, except Papa's mouse.
  The computer was humming, the icons were hopping, As Papa did last minute Internet shopping....
• Diary of a Snow Shoveler: December 8: 6:00 PM. It started to snow.
  The first snow of the season and the wife and I took our cocktails and sat for hours by the window watching the huge soft flakes drift down from heaven....
• The Night Before Christmas According to Moms It was the night before Christmas, when all thru the abode Only one creature was stirring, and she was cleaning the commode.
  The children were finally sleeping, all snug in their beds, While visions of Nintendo 64 and Barbie, flipped through their heads....
• W H Y C O P S H A T E Y O U <<<<&l
  < -if you have to ask get out of the way- Have you ever been stopped by a traffic cop and, while he was writing a ticket or giving you a warning, you got the feeling that he would just love to yank you out of the car, right through the window, and smash your face into the front fender?...
• Santa's Bad Day... One particular Christmas season a long time ago, Santa was getting ready for his annual trip, but there were problems everywhere.
  Four of his elves got sick, and the trainee elves did not produce the toys as fast as the regular ones so Santa was beginning to feel the pressure of being behind schedule....
• Grandma got run over by a reindeer, Walking home from our house Christmas Eve, You can say there's no such thing as Santa, But as for me and Grandpa, we believe.
  She'd been drinking too much eggnog, And we begged her not to go, But she forgot her medication, So she staggered out the door and through the snow....
• Politically Correct Santa 'Twas the night before Christmas and Santa's a wreck.
  ... How to live in a world that's politically correct?...
• How about that footage on the news yesterday of our new Commander-in- Chief on the deck of the aircraft carrier (Teddy Roosevelt?
  ).. After throwing one of his snappy salutes (he's *almost* got that down), I half expected him to give the order, "Let's turn this thang around....
• What's the difference between a banjo and a(n)... Chain Saw
  ( 1.) a chain saw has a dynamic range. ( 2.) you can turn a chain saw off....