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• Seen above a urinal: Please do not throw cigarette butts in our urinal.
  We don't piss in your ashtrays!...
• How do Chinese mothers name their babies? Throw some silverware down the stairs and name them after the noise it makes.
• Q. How do Chinese mothers name their babies? A. They throw some cutlery down the stairs and name them after the noise it makes.
• NEWS FLASH - Men And Women Are NOT Alike Sure, you thought you already knew that.
  But now we have proof! After countless hours of surveys and studies on the following topics, these facts have emerged...
• Seen in the men's room: Stand close, It's *shorter* than you think.
• The dew was still wet as the prisoner was let out into the yard for the last time.
  The soldiers of the firing detail shuffled out to their usual positions as the guards led the prisoner to the stake at the far end of the paddock....
• WOMEN SPEAK IN OESTROGEN AND MEN LISTEN IN TESTOSTERONE by Matt Groening RELATIONSHIPS
  First of all, a man does not call it a relationship - he refers to it as "that time when me and Suzie were doing it on a semi-regular basis....
• How many modern artists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
  Four. One to throw bulbs against the wall, one to pile hundreds of them in a heap and spray-paint it orange, one to glue light bulbs to a cocker spaniel, and one to put a bulb in the socket and fill the room with light while all the critics and buyers are watching the fellow smashing the bulbs against the wall, the fellow with the spray-gun, and the cocker spaniel....
• How many accountants does it take to change a light bulb?
  (Whispering voice:) "What do you WANT it to be?" How many Christian Scientists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?...