Murphy is walking down a country lane near his home when he spies a
leprechaun sitting on a fencepost. "Ah ha!", says he to himself, "I'll
catch the little fella and he'll have to give me his pot o' gold."
So, Murphy sneaks up on the leprechaun and grabs him by the shoulders.
The leprechaun is unhappy, but knows he can get away if he can get Murphy
to look away from him, even for an instant.
"Where's your pot o' gold?", says Murphy.
"Isn't that a purple cow over there?", says the leprechaun.
"I'm not taking my eyes off you! Where's the gold?!", says Murphy.
"Look at that peacock flying overhead!", says the leprechaun.
"I'm wise to your tricks! Where's the gold?!!", says Murphy.
Finally, the leprechaun gives up. "All right", he says, "you've got me.
But I'm not a pot o' gold leprechaun, I'm a three-wish leprechaun."
"What's a three-wish leprechaun?", says Murphy.
"I can grant you up to three wishes", says the leprechaun, "but there's
a catch. Whatever I give to you I give double to the person in the world
you hate the most. I happen to know that's O'Brien over in the next town."
Murphy thinks it over and finally says "Done! For my first wish I want
a fine, ten room mansion all for myself in that field over there."
"Done!" says the leprechaun and a beautiful mansion appears in the field.
In the field next to it is a 20 room mansion and on the porch stands
a surprised O'Brien saying "Why, thank you, Murphy. I didn't think you
liked me."
"For my next wish", says Murphy, "I want ten of the most beautiful women in
the world to wait on me hand and foot."
"Done!", says the leprechaun, and ten stunning women appear on the front
porch of Murphy's new mansion. O'Brien, now surrounded by twenty beautiful
women, is positively beaming. "Bless you, lad! I take back all the bad
thoughts I had of you", says he.
"Finally", says Murphy, "for my last wish ... I want my sexual potency
to be cut by fifty percent!"
Alternative endings:
1. "Finally", says Murphy, "for my last wish ... I want to be beaten
half to death!"
2. "For my last two wishes", says Murphy, "I want a 110 lb. woman
and half a marriage license!"
W H Y C O P S H A T E Y O U <<<<&l <
-if you have to ask get out of the way-
Have you ever been stopped by a traffic cop and, while he was
writing a ticket or giving you a warning, you got the feeling that
he would just love to yank you out of the car, right through the
window, and smash your face into the front fender?...
