Laws of the House of God I GOMERS(*) DON'T DIE.

Laws of the House of God

I GOMERS(*) DON'T DIE.
II GOMERS GO TO GROUND.
III AT A CARDIAC ARREST, THE FIRST
PROCEDURE IS TO TAKE YOUR OWN PULSE.
IV THE PATIENT IS THE ONE
WITH THE DISEASE.
V PLACEMENT COMES FIRST.
VI THERE IS NO BODY CAVITY THAT
CANNOT BE REACHED WITH A #14
NEEDLE AND A GOOD STRONG ARM.
VII AGE + BUN = LASIX DOSE.
VIII THEY CAN ALWAYS HURT YOU MORE.
IX THE ONLY GOOD ADMISSION
IS A DEAD ADMISSION.
X IF YOU DON'T TAKE A TEMPERATURE,
YOU CAN'T FIND A FEVER.
XI SHOW ME A BMS(**) WHO ONLY TRIPLES
MY WORK AND I WILL KISS HIS FEET.
XII IF THE RADIOLOGY RESIDENT
AND THE BMS BOTH SEE A
LESION ON THE CHEST X-RAY,
THERE CAN BE NO LESION THERE.
XIII THE DELIVERY OF MEDICAL CARE IS
TO DO AS MUCH NOTHING AS POSSIBLE.

(*) Acronym for 'Get Out of My Emergency Room' - you'll have to read the
book for the true effect.
(**) BMS: a third year medical student on his ward clerkship, particularly
on from 'Best Medical School'.
==