A Judge In A Semi-small City Was Hearing A Drunk-driving Case And The Defendent, Who Had Both A Record And A Reputation For Driving Under The Influence, Demanded A Jury Trial.

HomeShort JokesLawyers

A judge in a semi-small city was hearing a drunk-driving case and the
defendent, who had both a record and a reputation for driving under the
influence, demanded a jury trial. It was nearly 4 p.m. and getting a
jury would take time, so the judge called a recess and went out in the
hall looking to impanel anyone available for jury duty. He found a
dozen lawyers in the main lobby and told them that they were a jury.

The lawyers thought this would be a novel experience and so followed
the judge back to the courtroom. The trial was over in about 10
minutes and it was very clear that the defendent was guilty. The jury
went into the jury-room, the judge started getting ready to go home,
and everyone waited.

After nearly three hours, the judge was totally out of patience and
sent the bailiff into the jury-room to see what was holding up the
verdict. When the bailiff returned, the judge said, "Well have they
got a verdict yet?"

The bailiff shook his head and said, "Verdict? Hell, they're still
doing nominating speeches for the foreman's position!"

Diogenes went to look for an honest lawyer. "How's it going?",
someone asked. "Not too bad", said Diogenes. "I still have my lantern."
Longer jokes (cont.)
A woman and her little girl were visitng the grave of the little girl's
grandmother. On their way through the cemetary back to the car, the
little girl asked, "Mommy, do they ever bury two people in the same

"Of course not, dear." replied the mother, "Why would you think that?"

"The tombstone back there said 'Here lies a lawyer and an honest man.'"

The defendent who pleads their own case has a fool for a client, but at
least there will be no problem with fee-splitting.