Quotes on Recent Events
"The 1998 Winter Olympics are under way in Nagano, Japan. CBS has promised
128 hours of coverage... that is, unless Monica Lewinsky gets a hair cut or
something." - Conan O'Brien
"Newsweek and Time both have cover stories about the sex scandal. Meanwhile
the Star and National Enquirer ran full coverage on the pope's visit to
Cuba." - Cutler Daily Scoop
"A former co-worker says Lewinsky often commented about how sexy Al Gore
was. Okay, so now we know she's attracted to anything that does and doesn't
move." - Conan O'Brien
"While he was campaigning for office, Clinton told young people they should
wait to have sex. Now we know what he wanted them to wait for. Him." - Jay
Leno
"Penthouse offered Lewinsky $2 million to pose nude. This confirms what
Clinton said in his State of the Union address: He is creating high paying
jobs for young people." - Jay Leno
"You know, I think this whole thing started because interns are underpaid.
Secret Service agents make $75,000 a year and they only have to take a
bullet for the president." - Jay Leno
"Conspiracy buffs claim that the celebrity skiing accidents are actually a
conspiracy... the trees were planted." - Humor Newsgroup
"A devout Hindu is suing Taco Bell for serving him a beef burrito instead of
the bean burrito he ordered. He said the forbidden meat caused nausea, loss
of sleep and many doctor visits. In its defense, Taco Bell said the same
thing would have happened if he'd gotten the bean burrito." - Unknown Source
W H Y C O P S H A T E Y O U <<<<&l <
-if you have to ask get out of the way-
Have you ever been stopped by a traffic cop and, while he was
writing a ticket or giving you a warning, you got the feeling that
he would just love to yank you out of the car, right through the
window, and smash your face into the front fender?...
