BATHROOM HUMOR
(Deep thoughts written on bathroom walls)
The best way to a man's heart is to saw his breast plate open. -- Women's
restroom, Murphy's, Champaign, IL
Don't trust anything that bleeds for 5 days and doesn't die. -- Men's
restroom, Murphy's, Champaign, IL
If you can pee this high, join the fire department. -- On the wall in the
men's restroom at a height of 6 feet. O'Ryan's -Irish Pub. Ashland, Oregon.
Beauty is only a light switch away. -- Perkins Library. Duke University.
Durham, North Carolina.
I've decided that to raise my grades I must lower my standards. -- Houghton
Library, Harvard University. Cambridge, Massachusetts.
If life is a waste of time, and time is a waste of life, then let's all get
wasted together and have the time of our lives. -- Armand's Pizza.
Washington, D.C.
Remember, it's not, "How high are you?" it's "Hi, how are you?" -- Rest stop
off Route 81. West Virginia.
God made pot. Man made beer. Who do you trust? -- The Irish Times.
Washington, D.C.
Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity. -- The Bayou, Baton
Rouge, Louisiana.
No matter how good she looks, some other guy is sick and tired of putting up
with her. -- Men's Room, Linda's Bar and Grill. Chapel Hill, North Carolina.
To do is to be. - Descartes; To be is to do. - Voltaire; Do be do be do. -
Frank Sinatra. -- Men's restroom, Greasewood Flats. Scottsdale, Arizona.
At the feast of ego, everyone leaves hungry. -- Bentley's House of Coffee
and Tea, Tucson, Arizona.
It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere. -- Written in
the dust on the back of a bus. Wickenburg, Arizona.
Make love, not war. Hell, do both, get married! -- Women's restroom, The
Filling Station. Bozeman, Montana.
God is dead. - Nietzsche; Nietzsche is dead. - God. -- The Tombs Restaurant.
Washington, D.C.
If voting could really change things, it would be illegal. -- Revolution
Books. New York, New York.
A Woman's Rule of Thumb: If it has tires or testicles, you're going to have
trouble with it. -- Women's restroom, Dick's Last Resort. Dallas, Texas.
JESUS SAVES! But wouldn't it be better if he had invested? -- Men's
restroom, American University. Washington, D.C.
If pro is opposite of con, then what is the opposite of progress? Congress!
-- Men's restroom, House of Representatives. Washington, D.C.
867-5309 -- Men's restroom. Duke Nukem 3d, first scenario, first level.
Watch out for Gay Limbo Dancers -- Inside toilet stall door, Men's restroom,
Express Lane: Five beers or less -- Sign over one of the urinals, Ed
Debevic's. Pheonix, AZ.
You're too good for him. -- Sign over mirror in Women's restroom, Ed
Debevic's. Beverly Hills,CA.
No wonder you always go home alone. -- Sign over mirror in Men's restroom,
Ed Debevic's. Beverly Hills, CA.
(Deep thoughts written on bathroom walls)
The best way to a man's heart is to saw his breast plate open. -- Women's
restroom, Murphy's, Champaign, IL
Don't trust anything that bleeds for 5 days and doesn't die. -- Men's
restroom, Murphy's, Champaign, IL
If you can pee this high, join the fire department. -- On the wall in the
men's restroom at a height of 6 feet. O'Ryan's -Irish Pub. Ashland, Oregon.
Beauty is only a light switch away. -- Perkins Library. Duke University.
Durham, North Carolina.
I've decided that to raise my grades I must lower my standards. -- Houghton
Library, Harvard University. Cambridge, Massachusetts.
If life is a waste of time, and time is a waste of life, then let's all get
wasted together and have the time of our lives. -- Armand's Pizza.
Washington, D.C.
Remember, it's not, "How high are you?" it's "Hi, how are you?" -- Rest stop
off Route 81. West Virginia.
God made pot. Man made beer. Who do you trust? -- The Irish Times.
Washington, D.C.
Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity. -- The Bayou, Baton
Rouge, Louisiana.
No matter how good she looks, some other guy is sick and tired of putting up
with her. -- Men's Room, Linda's Bar and Grill. Chapel Hill, North Carolina.
To do is to be. - Descartes; To be is to do. - Voltaire; Do be do be do. -
Frank Sinatra. -- Men's restroom, Greasewood Flats. Scottsdale, Arizona.
At the feast of ego, everyone leaves hungry. -- Bentley's House of Coffee
and Tea, Tucson, Arizona.
It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere. -- Written in
the dust on the back of a bus. Wickenburg, Arizona.
Make love, not war. Hell, do both, get married! -- Women's restroom, The
Filling Station. Bozeman, Montana.
God is dead. - Nietzsche; Nietzsche is dead. - God. -- The Tombs Restaurant.
Washington, D.C.
If voting could really change things, it would be illegal. -- Revolution
Books. New York, New York.
A Woman's Rule of Thumb: If it has tires or testicles, you're going to have
trouble with it. -- Women's restroom, Dick's Last Resort. Dallas, Texas.
JESUS SAVES! But wouldn't it be better if he had invested? -- Men's
restroom, American University. Washington, D.C.
If pro is opposite of con, then what is the opposite of progress? Congress!
-- Men's restroom, House of Representatives. Washington, D.C.
867-5309 -- Men's restroom. Duke Nukem 3d, first scenario, first level.
Watch out for Gay Limbo Dancers -- Inside toilet stall door, Men's restroom,
Express Lane: Five beers or less -- Sign over one of the urinals, Ed
Debevic's. Pheonix, AZ.
You're too good for him. -- Sign over mirror in Women's restroom, Ed
Debevic's. Beverly Hills,CA.
No wonder you always go home alone. -- Sign over mirror in Men's restroom,
Ed Debevic's. Beverly Hills, CA.
Related:
- BATHROOM QUOTES
"The best way to a man's heart is to saw his breast plate open.
* Women's restroom, Murphy's, Champaign, IL Don't... - WOMEN SPEAK IN OESTROGEN AND MEN LISTEN IN TESTOSTERONE
by Matt Groening
RELATIONSHIPS:
First of all, a man does not call it a relationship... - NEWS FLASH - Men And Women Are NOT Alike
Sure, you thought you already knew that.
But now we have proof! After countless hours of surveys... - NEWS BULLETIN - Men and women are NOT alike.
Sure,
you thought you already knew that. But now we have... - WOMEN SPEAK IN ESTROGEN AND MEN LISTEN IN TESTOSTERONE
by Matt Groening
RELATIONSHIPS:
When a relationship ends, a woman will cry and pour... - Edited by Brad Templeton. MAIL, yes MAIL your jokes to watmath!looking!funny .
Attribute the joke's source if at all possible. I... - A black guy and a gorilla go into a bar together. He says to the
bartender,
"I'd like a beer, and a gin and tonic for my girlfriend... - How about that footage on the news yesterday of our new Commander-in-
Chief on the deck of the aircraft carrier (Teddy Roosevelt... - You've got the whitest teeth I've ever come across.
%end of list------------- Female to guy: Hi, you...
