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• A small Indian brave walks up to his grandfather and ask
  "Grandfather, how do we Indians get our names?" "Well my son, the baby is named for an event that happened on the day baby is conceived....
• Q: What is the definition of agony? A: Being a one-armed man hanging off a cliff, and having an attack of jock itch.
• Three guys were having an argument about who was more generously endowed.
  Finally, to settle the matter once and for all, they went up to the top of the Empire State Building and proceeded to unzip their flies....
• Q: What has four legs and one arm? A: A very happy pitbull.
• What kind of dog has four legs and one arm? -- A Pit Bull!
• A man went into a pet store and said to the owner, I'd like to buy a pet that is out of the ordinary -unusual.
  The pet shop owner replied, well,I have one Rairy-bird left....
• How To Give A Cat A Pill 1.Grasp cat firmly in your arms.
  Cradle its head on your elbow, just as if you were giving baby a bottle....
• Calling in Sick.... A Cat Owner's Story Calling in sick to work makes me uncomfortable because no matter how legitimate my illness, I always sense my boss thinks I am lying.
  On one occasion, I had a valid reason but lied anyway because the truth was too humiliating to reveal....
• U good at math? Well, add a bed, subtract ur cloths, divide ur legs and we can multiply!