THINGS I WISH I'D KNOWN BEFORE I WENT OUT IN THE REAL WORLD.

THINGS I WISH I'D KNOWN BEFORE I WENT OUT IN THE REAL WORLD.
** A person needs only two tools: WD-40 and duct tape. If it doesn't move
and it should, use WD-40. If it moves and it shouldn't, use the tape.
** When baking, follow directions. When cooking, go by your own taste.
** The five most essential words for a healthy, vital relationship: "I
apologize" and "You are right."
** Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.
** When you make a mistake, make amends immediately. It's easier to eat crow
while it's still warm.
** If he or she says that you are too good for him -- believe it.
** I've learned to pick my battles; I ask myself, "Will this matter one year
from now? How about one month? One week? One day?"
** Never pass up an opportunity to pee.
** If you woke up breathing, congratulations! You have another chance!
** Living well really is the best revenge.
** Being miserable because of a bad or former relationship just proves that
the other person was right about you.
** Be really nice to your friends because you never know when you are going
to need them to empty your bed pan and hold your hand.
** And finally... Being happy doesn't mean everything's perfect; it just
means you've decided to see beyond the imperfections.