Anvari.org

The Lesser Known Gods And Demi-Gods Of Greece Listed Below Are A Selected List Of Many Of The Lesser-known Gods And Demi-gods Of Greece That Have Apparently Been Ignored Or Forgotten By Historians For Various And Sundry Reasons.

The Lesser Known Gods And Demi-Gods Of Greece
Listed below are a selected list of many of the lesser-known gods and
demi-gods of Greece that have apparently been ignored or forgotten by
historians for various and sundry reasons. Some of these gods were obviously
important and useful in everday life habits, others apparently had no
redeeming value whatsoever, but somehow achieved god- or goddesshood.
Arabinose - one of the Sugar Gods. Brother of Fructose and Glucose. These
three together were known as the gods of dessert [not to be confused with
their father, Pancreas, the Demi-god of Dessert - see below]. Singly, but
more often in threes, these largely overweight gods waddled through the
countryside helping themselves to baklava, and other sweet Greek pastries;
often to the surprise and dismay of the citizens of the unfortunate towns
and small villages they encountered.
Aroma - Demi-god of Aftershave. Aroma never attained real god status and was
a mere mortal. Apparently, or so the story goes, Aroma causedmuch irritapion
among the other gods because of the heavy amounts of pungent aftershave he
wore each day around Mount Olympus. His smell caused so much consternation
among the other Greek gods that he was soon shunned to Isle de Brut, off the
coast of France, where he was left to die. However, he soon was able to
fashion a raft out of used aftershave bottles and floated to Germany and
eventually made his way to Cologne, where he lived out the remainder of his
mortal life.
Chlorox - Demi-god of Laundry. Chlorox was at one time a highly exalted god
on Mount Olympus. His hand-washing methods were unparalleled and he was
admired by all who employed his talents as the God of Laundry. He was doing
great, well... that is, until the god Maytag appeared. Maytag immediately
challenged Chlorox to a duel. They were both to take on the underwear
laundry of Zeus. Chlorox used a bleaching action; Maytag used some new
fangled machine action. It was doom for Chlorox. Not only did Chlorox lose
to Maytag, but the bleach caused some problems with some of Zeus's colored
bikini briefs. As a result, Chlorox was relegated to be sold on supermarket
shelves for eternity, while Maytag was rewarded by Zeus with never having to
worry about repair problems.
Corolla - God of Compacts. Corolla was far ahead of his time, but never made
it big with the major Olympian goddesses due to his small size. They all
wanted a full-size god and Corolla could never match up. The Greek goddesses
always compared him (unfairly) with the Amer-Indian gods, Buick and
Cadillac. He maintained that he could far outlast Buick or Cadillac in any
competition that dealt with endurance, but the goddesses didn't care. They
were more interested in size than quality. Corolla eventually left Mount
Olympus and travelled to the Far East, where he ended up in Japan. At least
there, size did not matter.
Diabetes - Goddess of Ice0Cream. Mother of the sugar gods, Arabinose,
Fructose, and Glucose. Diabetes hardly worked, and was often seen eyther
sleeping or eating sweets of all kinds.
Diarrhea - Goddess of Bad Water. Daughter of Peristalsis, q.v. She never
married, or really did much of anything. Her pitiful eternal life was spent
in the bathroom.
Dyslexia - Goddess of Spelling. Unfortunately, Dyslexia failed as a goddess.
Upon gaining goddesshood, Dyslexia was asked by Zeus to choose a subject for
which she could be revered by Greeks for all time. She chose spelling, but
had a terrible time accomplishing much in that endeavor. Though she was the
Goddess of Spelling for only a very brief period, she was in that position
of authority long enough to have forever established certain conventions
that have endured for eons. Some of these include establishing the Greek
alphabet which, like Cyrillic, is totally undecipherable to most mortals.
She is also known for coining the phrase "It's Greek to me" when asked by
the other gods and goddesses what a particular word meant that she created.
Egregious - God of Errors. Though he spent virtually all his life with the
other gods and goddesses on Mount Olympus, he is rumored to have left for a
short vacation to the south ov France where he met and had an affair with
the French goddess, Faux Pas. Egregious was one of the smartest gods on
Mount Olympus. In fact, many thought he might be as smart as Zeus, though no
one would ever admit this publicly. However, his unfortunate habit of making
so many mistakes kept him from becoming one of tha better-known gods. When
asked how someone so smart could make so many stupid mistakes, his reply was
always "You learn from your mistakes. Obviously, I've made so MANY mistakes,
I've become a genius!"
Melanoma - God of Tanning. Often seen away from Mount Olympus and down along
the sandy beaches of southern Greece, Melanoma could have been ranked up
there with the other major gods of his time. He was strong, handsome, and
had a body that attracted all the goddesses. His only major fault was
getting involved with the mortal Macedonian strip queen, Ultra Violet. The
two of them constantly played naked in the sun along the Greek shoreline.
Zeus, upon seeing Melanoma cavorting with a non- Olympian, decided to punish
him by taking away his immortality. This didn't seem to bother Melanoma at
first and he continued to associate with Ultra Violet and played in the buff
each day. Soon though, Melanoma started to notice small dark patches on his
skin that eventually became cancerous. He died a quick, but horrible death,
with Ultra Violet at his side till the very end.
Ozone - God of Memory. Ozone was another failed god. Upon attaining godhood,
Zeus asked Ozone to choose the subject for which he would be revered for all
time. He chose Memory. To celebrate his attaining full godliness, Ozone
married his school sweetheart, Amnesia. However, their foggy relationship
soon resulted in the complete loss of all the records of all the great gods
on Mount Olympus. Zeus retaliated by immediately expelling Ozone to Southern
California, where he was held prisoner in the dreaded "Inversion Layer"
along with the evil nether-world dragon- god of progress and technology,
Smog.
Pancreas - Demi-god of Dessert. Father of the sugar gods, Arabinose,
Fructose, and Glucose. Pancreas was a short-lived god who spent most of his
time on coffee breaks eating donuts. His marriage to Diabetes was no help to
him at all and he died soon after they had their three sons.
Zirconia - Goddess of Costume Jewelry. Often in direct competition with the
goddesses Titanium and Platinum, Zirconia was pretty much always relegated
to being allowed only to attend the lesser parties on Mount Olympus at which
the great gods and goddesses were rarely present. As a result, Zirconia was
subsequently ignored by most historians and now only shows up on the backs
of magazines for really cheap prices.

Related:

Retrieved from http://www.anvari.org/shortjoke/Jokes_from_Emails/33184_the-lesser-known-gods-and-demi-gods-of-greece-listed-below-are-a-selected-list-of-many-of-the-lesser-known-gods-and-demi-gods-of-greece-that-have-apparently-been-ignored-or-forgotten-by-historians-for-various-and-sundry-reasons.html