ACTUAL NEWSPAPER HEADLINES
GATORS TO FACE SEMINOLES WITH PETERS OUT - The Tallahassee Bugle
MESSIAH CLIMAXES IN CHORUS OF HALLELUJAHS - The Anchorage Alaska Times
GOVERNOR'S PENIS BUSY [should be "PEN IS"] - The New Haven Connecticut
Register (Wouldn't have raised an eyebrow in Arkansas...)
THANKS TO PRESIDENT CLINTON, STAFF SGT. FRUER NOW HAS A SON - The
Arkansas Plainsman
CLINTON PLACES DICKEY IN GORE'S HANDS - Bangor Maine News
STARR AGHAST AT FIRST LADY SEX POSITION - The Washington Times
CLINTON STIFF ON WITHDRAWAL - The Bosnia Bugle
LONG ISLAND STIFFENS FOR LILI'S BLOW - Newsday
ORGAN FESTIVAL ENDS IN SMASHING CLIMAX - San Antonio Rose
PETROLEUM JELLY KEEPS IDLE TOOLS RUST-FREE - Chicago Daily News
TEXTRON INC. MAKES OFFER TO SCREW COMPANY STOCKHOLDERS - The Miami
Herald
MARRIED PRIESTS IN CATHOLIC CHURCH A LONG TIME COMING - The New Haven
Connecticut Register
GOVERNOR CHILES OFFERS RARE OPPORTUNITY TO GOOSE HUNTERS - The
Tallahassee Democrat
WOULD SHE CLIMB TO THE TOP OF MR. EVEREST AGAIN? ABSOLUTELY! - The
Houston Chronicle
MONDALE GETS WARM RESPONSE FROM FRENCH HEAD - Champaign-Urbana Gazette
(ca. 1978)
OBLONG MAN MARRIES NORMAL WOMAN - Bloomington Pantagraph, mid 60's
GATORS TO FACE SEMINOLES WITH PETERS OUT - The Tallahassee Bugle
MESSIAH CLIMAXES IN CHORUS OF HALLELUJAHS - The Anchorage Alaska Times
GOVERNOR'S PENIS BUSY [should be "PEN IS"] - The New Haven Connecticut
Register (Wouldn't have raised an eyebrow in Arkansas...)
THANKS TO PRESIDENT CLINTON, STAFF SGT. FRUER NOW HAS A SON - The
Arkansas Plainsman
CLINTON PLACES DICKEY IN GORE'S HANDS - Bangor Maine News
STARR AGHAST AT FIRST LADY SEX POSITION - The Washington Times
CLINTON STIFF ON WITHDRAWAL - The Bosnia Bugle
LONG ISLAND STIFFENS FOR LILI'S BLOW - Newsday
ORGAN FESTIVAL ENDS IN SMASHING CLIMAX - San Antonio Rose
PETROLEUM JELLY KEEPS IDLE TOOLS RUST-FREE - Chicago Daily News
TEXTRON INC. MAKES OFFER TO SCREW COMPANY STOCKHOLDERS - The Miami
Herald
MARRIED PRIESTS IN CATHOLIC CHURCH A LONG TIME COMING - The New Haven
Connecticut Register
GOVERNOR CHILES OFFERS RARE OPPORTUNITY TO GOOSE HUNTERS - The
Tallahassee Democrat
WOULD SHE CLIMB TO THE TOP OF MR. EVEREST AGAIN? ABSOLUTELY! - The
Houston Chronicle
MONDALE GETS WARM RESPONSE FROM FRENCH HEAD - Champaign-Urbana Gazette
(ca. 1978)
OBLONG MAN MARRIES NORMAL WOMAN - Bloomington Pantagraph, mid 60's
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