ACTUAL NEWSPAPER HEADLINES
GATORS TO FACE SEMINOLES WITH PETERS OUT - The Tallahassee Bugle
MESSIAH CLIMAXES IN CHORUS OF HALLELUJAHS - The Anchorage Alaska Times
GOVERNOR'S PENIS BUSY [should be "PEN IS"] - The New Haven Connecticut
Register (Wouldn't have raised an eyebrow in Arkansas...)
THANKS TO PRESIDENT CLINTON, STAFF SGT. FRUER NOW HAS A SON - The
Arkansas Plainsman
CLINTON PLACES DICKEY IN GORE'S HANDS - Bangor Maine News
STARR AGHAST AT FIRST LADY SEX POSITION - The Washington Times
CLINTON STIFF ON WITHDRAWAL - The Bosnia Bugle
LONG ISLAND STIFFENS FOR LILI'S BLOW - Newsday
ORGAN FESTIVAL ENDS IN SMASHING CLIMAX - San Antonio Rose
PETROLEUM JELLY KEEPS IDLE TOOLS RUST-FREE - Chicago Daily News
TEXTRON INC. MAKES OFFER TO SCREW COMPANY STOCKHOLDERS - The Miami
Herald
MARRIED PRIESTS IN CATHOLIC CHURCH A LONG TIME COMING - The New Haven
Connecticut Register
GOVERNOR CHILES OFFERS RARE OPPORTUNITY TO GOOSE HUNTERS - The
Tallahassee Democrat
WOULD SHE CLIMB TO THE TOP OF MR. EVEREST AGAIN? ABSOLUTELY! - The
Houston Chronicle
MONDALE GETS WARM RESPONSE FROM FRENCH HEAD - Champaign-Urbana Gazette
(ca. 1978)
OBLONG MAN MARRIES NORMAL WOMAN - Bloomington Pantagraph, mid 60's
GATORS TO FACE SEMINOLES WITH PETERS OUT - The Tallahassee Bugle
MESSIAH CLIMAXES IN CHORUS OF HALLELUJAHS - The Anchorage Alaska Times
GOVERNOR'S PENIS BUSY [should be "PEN IS"] - The New Haven Connecticut
Register (Wouldn't have raised an eyebrow in Arkansas...)
THANKS TO PRESIDENT CLINTON, STAFF SGT. FRUER NOW HAS A SON - The
Arkansas Plainsman
CLINTON PLACES DICKEY IN GORE'S HANDS - Bangor Maine News
STARR AGHAST AT FIRST LADY SEX POSITION - The Washington Times
CLINTON STIFF ON WITHDRAWAL - The Bosnia Bugle
LONG ISLAND STIFFENS FOR LILI'S BLOW - Newsday
ORGAN FESTIVAL ENDS IN SMASHING CLIMAX - San Antonio Rose
PETROLEUM JELLY KEEPS IDLE TOOLS RUST-FREE - Chicago Daily News
TEXTRON INC. MAKES OFFER TO SCREW COMPANY STOCKHOLDERS - The Miami
Herald
MARRIED PRIESTS IN CATHOLIC CHURCH A LONG TIME COMING - The New Haven
Connecticut Register
GOVERNOR CHILES OFFERS RARE OPPORTUNITY TO GOOSE HUNTERS - The
Tallahassee Democrat
WOULD SHE CLIMB TO THE TOP OF MR. EVEREST AGAIN? ABSOLUTELY! - The
Houston Chronicle
MONDALE GETS WARM RESPONSE FROM FRENCH HEAD - Champaign-Urbana Gazette
(ca. 1978)
OBLONG MAN MARRIES NORMAL WOMAN - Bloomington Pantagraph, mid 60's
Related:
- How about that footage on the news yesterday of our new Commander-in-
Chief on the deck of the aircraft carrier (Teddy Roosevelt?
).. After throwing one of his snappy salutes (he's *almost* got that down), I half expected him to give the order, "Let's turn this thang around.... - POLITICALLY INCORRECT DEFINITIONS OF WHAT
BILL CLINTON'S REALLY SAYING
What he says.
...........................What he means ----------------------------------------------------------------------- "My fellow citizens".... - I thought you'd all like to hear about the potential candidates meeting
with the Wizard of Oz.
.. First, President Bush went to see the Wizard and said, "Everyone says I have no compassion or feelings, I wish to have a Heart".... - YOUR NEW OFFICIAL TAX FORM
1. Enter your social security numbe
___-__-____ 2. How much money did you make last year?... - THE STATE OF THE UNION ADDRESS....THAT PRESIDENT CLINTON SHOULD
HAVE GIVEN
"Members of Congress.
..People of America....I banged her. I banged her like a cheap gong.... - US President Bill Clinton plans to reduce the budget deficit by an appeal to
sacrifice.
The problem, however, is that every time he gets near a virgin.... - Q. Why did Bill get into this problem?
A. He didn't know that harass was one word.
Q. Clinton Presidential Anthem A. Kneel to the Chief Q.... - Wary Klink Live-Pillory Clinton
Wary: "Hello, welcome to Wary Klink Live.
Tonight's guests will be First Lady elect Pillory Clinton.... - FROM NATIONAL REVIEW, February 15 1993, The Week, p.
14 "Little noted by the press, vegetable-rights activists raided the kitchen of the Willard Hotel in Washington, D....
