Things you won't see on Hallmark cards:
OUTSIDE: As the days go by, I think of how lucky I am
INSIDE: that you're not here to ruin it for me.
OUTSIDE: I've always wanted to have someone to hold, someone to love.
INSIDE: After having met you, I've changed my mind.
OUTSIDE: I must admit, you brought Religion in my life.
INSIDE: I never believed in Hell 'till I met you.
OUTSIDE: Looking back over the years that we've been together, I can't help
but wonder:
INSIDE: What the heck was I thinking?
OUTSIDE: I always wanted to be rich, powerful, and well respected.
INSIDE: And while I'm dreaming, I wish you weren't so damn ugly.
OUTSIDE: The holidays are a great time to be with family.
INSIDE: Of course, your family won't be with you, since I'm taking the
kids and moving in with my sister, you cheating bastard!
OUTSIDE: I'm so miserable without you,
INSIDE: it's almost like you're here.
OUTSIDE: If you ever need a friend...
INSIDE: buy a dog.
OUTSIDE: Congratulations on your new bundle of joy.
INSIDE: Did you ever find out who the father was?
OUTSIDE: As the days go by, I think of how lucky I am
INSIDE: that you're not here to ruin it for me.
OUTSIDE: I've always wanted to have someone to hold, someone to love.
INSIDE: After having met you, I've changed my mind.
OUTSIDE: I must admit, you brought Religion in my life.
INSIDE: I never believed in Hell 'till I met you.
OUTSIDE: Looking back over the years that we've been together, I can't help
but wonder:
INSIDE: What the heck was I thinking?
OUTSIDE: I always wanted to be rich, powerful, and well respected.
INSIDE: And while I'm dreaming, I wish you weren't so damn ugly.
OUTSIDE: The holidays are a great time to be with family.
INSIDE: Of course, your family won't be with you, since I'm taking the
kids and moving in with my sister, you cheating bastard!
OUTSIDE: I'm so miserable without you,
INSIDE: it's almost like you're here.
OUTSIDE: If you ever need a friend...
INSIDE: buy a dog.
OUTSIDE: Congratulations on your new bundle of joy.
INSIDE: Did you ever find out who the father was?
Related:
- Greeting Cards That Were Rejected By Halmark:
"Looking back over the years that we've been together,
I can't help but wonder:... -- What was I thinking... - Once upon a time there were two deaf mutes standing on a street corner talking
to each other with sign language.
Mute #1 (SIGN)"What would you like to do?" Mute... - Edited by Brad Templeton. MAIL, yes MAIL your jokes to watmath!looking!funny .
Attribute the joke's source if at all possible. I... - A black guy and a gorilla go into a bar together. He says to the
bartender,
"I'd like a beer, and a gin and tonic for my girlfriend... - W H Y C O P S H A T E Y O U <<<<<<
-if you have to ask get out of the way-
Have you ever been stopped by a traffic cop and, while... - You've got the whitest teeth I've ever come across.
%end of list------------- Female to guy: Hi, you... - 125 Things Never To Say During Sex
1)is it in?
2)that's it?
3)you've got to be kidding me. 4)(phone rings) hello... - Here are my categories, with examples (his):
ENGLISH:
I had some eyeglasses. I was walking down the street... - WHAT MEN REALLY MEAN
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
"I'm going fishing."
Really means.
"I'm going to drink myself dangerously stupid, and...
