Apartment Ad Translation Guide
** SPACIOUS - hole in the wall; compared to living in your car; that's why
we're charging $200 above the going rate.
** EASY ACCESS TO TRANSPORTATION - in the flight path of an airport; next to
the railroad tracks; next to a major road/highway.
** FRIENDLY STAFF - Doberman pincher mentality.
** FREE UTILITIES - Would you pay this high rent AND the water and garbage?
** HEATED POOL - only when the sun's out; only on the off chance there's
water in it
** WORKOUT ROOM - four walls, some free weights, a machine or two and a
clunky stationary bike.
** GREAT VIEWS - within touching distance of neighbors; overlooking the
garbage dumpster; overlooking the pool; overlooking the cute guy/gals
apartment.
** AFFORDABLE - yearly income must be $100,000 or more; wealthy parents pay
the rent for you.
** PETS WELCOME - no kids; the odor from the previous owner's pets couldn't
be removed.
** AEK - All Electricity Kancelled
** W/D - Will be Disillusioned; Will be Disgusted; Worried/Depressed people.
** AC - Atrocious Carpeting
** WWC - Wall to Wall Crud
** LIGHT AND AIRY - built as cheaply as possible.
** SECURE PARKING - manager's office overlooks the parking lot.
** !!! - desperation to sell is linked to the number of '!!!'
** RUSTIC - classic 60's decor; outhouse included; one heating vent.
