A Few For The Pun Lovers...
*** The Service ***
Our old friend Gladys attended church services one particular Sunday.
The sermon seemed to go on forever, and many in the congregation fell
After the service, to be social, she walked up to a very sleepy looking
gentleman, in an attempt to revive him from his stupor, extended her hand in
greeting, and said, "Hello, I'm Gladys Dunn."
To which the gentleman replied, "You're not the only one!"
*** Dinner ***
The young couple invited their aged parson for Sunday dinner. While they
were in the kitchen preparing the meal, the minister asked their son what
they were having.
"Goat," the little boy replied.
"Goat?" replied the startled man of the cloth, "Are you sure about that?"
"Yep," said the youngster. "I heard Pa say to Ma, 'Might as well have the
old goat for dinner today as any other day.'"
*** At The Bar ***
A man walks into a bar and says, "Excuse me, I'd like a pint of beer."
The bartender serves the drink and says, "That'll be four dollars." The
customer pulls out a twenty-dollar bill and hands it to the bartender.
"Sorry, sir," the bartender says, "but I can't accept that."
The man pulls out a ten-dollar bill and the bartender rejects his money
again. "What's going on here?" the man asks.
Pointing to a neon sign, the bartender explains, "This is a Singles Bar."
*** Scripture ***
An elderly woman had just returned to her home from an evening of religious
service when she was startled by an intruder. As she caught the man in the
act of robbing her home of its valuables, she yelled, "Stop - Acts 2:38!"
(..turn from your sin...).
The burglar stopped dead in his tracks. The woman calmly called the police
and explained what she had done.
As the officer cuffed the man to take him in, he asked the burglar, "Why did
you just stand there? All she did was yell a scripture to you."
"Scripture?" replied the burglar, "She said she had an AXE and two 38's!"
W H Y C O P S H A T E Y O U <<<<&l <
-if you have to ask get out of the way-
Have you ever been stopped by a traffic cop and, while he was
writing a ticket or giving you a warning, you got the feeling that
he would just love to yank you out of the car, right through the
window, and smash your face into the front fender?...