Some things to think about...
** Last night I played a blank tape at full blast.
The mime next door went nuts.
** Just think how much deeper the ocean would be if sponges didn't live
there.
** If a cow laughed, would milk come out her nose?
** Whatever happened to preparations A through G?
** If olive oil comes from olives, where does baby oil come from?
** I went for a walk last night and my kids asked me how long I'd be gone.
I said, "The whole time."
** So what's the speed of dark?
** How come you don't ever hear about gruntled employees?
And who has been dis-ing them anyhow?
** After eating, do amphibians need to wait an hour before getting OUT of
the water?
** Why don't they just make mouse-flavored cat food?
** If you're sending someone some Styrofoam, what do you pack it in?
** I just got skylights put in my place.
The people who live above me are furious.
** Why do they sterilize needles for lethal injections?
** Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny?
** When a man talks dirty to a woman, it's sexual harassment.
When a woman talks dirty to a man, it's 3.95 per min.
** Last night I played a blank tape at full blast.
The mime next door went nuts.
** Just think how much deeper the ocean would be if sponges didn't live
there.
** If a cow laughed, would milk come out her nose?
** Whatever happened to preparations A through G?
** If olive oil comes from olives, where does baby oil come from?
** I went for a walk last night and my kids asked me how long I'd be gone.
I said, "The whole time."
** So what's the speed of dark?
** How come you don't ever hear about gruntled employees?
And who has been dis-ing them anyhow?
** After eating, do amphibians need to wait an hour before getting OUT of
the water?
** Why don't they just make mouse-flavored cat food?
** If you're sending someone some Styrofoam, what do you pack it in?
** I just got skylights put in my place.
The people who live above me are furious.
** Why do they sterilize needles for lethal injections?
** Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny?
** When a man talks dirty to a woman, it's sexual harassment.
When a woman talks dirty to a man, it's 3.95 per min.
Related:
- From The Wit of Steven Wright:
** Last night I played a blank tape at full blast
The mime next door went nuts. ** If a person with... - The ark lands after The Flood. Noah lets all the animals out
Says, "Go and multiply." Several months pass. Noah... - W H Y C O P S H A T E Y O U <<<<<
if you have to ask get out of the way- ... - What's the difference between a banjo and a(n)...
Chain Saw
( 1.) a chain saw has a dynamic range. ( 2.) you can... - Edited by Brad Templeton. MAIL, yes MAIL your jokes to watmath!looking!funny
Attribute the joke's source if at all possible. I... - How about that footage on the news yesterday of our new Commander-in
Chief on the deck of the aircraft carrier (Teddy Roosevelt... - A black guy and a gorilla go into a bar together. He says to the
bartender
I'd like a beer, and a gin and tonic for my girlfriend... - One Liners
If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried
A clean desk is a sign of a cluttered desk drawer.... - You've got the whitest teeth I've ever come across
%end of list------------- Female to guy: Hi, you...
