Things That Make You Go Hmmm...
** It is hard to understand how a cemetery raised its burial cost and blamed
it on the cost of living.
** Just remember...if the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off.
** The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something
right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.
** It is said that if you line up all the cars in the world end to end,
someone would be stupid enough to try and pass them.
** You can't have everything, where would you put it?
** Latest survey shows that 3 out of 4 people make up 75% of the world's
population.
** If the shoe fits, get another one just like it.
** The things that come to those that wait may be the things left by those
who got there first.
** Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he
will sit in a boat drinking beer all day.
** Flashlight: A case for holding dead batteries.
** Shin: A device for finding furniture in the dark.
** As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in public schools.
** When you're swimming in the creek, and an eel bites your cheek, that's a
moray!
** A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.
** It was recently discovered that research causes cancer in rats.
** Everybody lies, but it doesn't matter since nobody listens.
** I wished the buck stopped here, as I could use a few.
** I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.
** When you go into court you are putting yourself in the hands of 12 people
that weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty.
** Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright
until you hear them speak.
** It is hard to understand how a cemetery raised its burial cost and blamed
it on the cost of living.
** Just remember...if the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off.
** The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something
right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.
** It is said that if you line up all the cars in the world end to end,
someone would be stupid enough to try and pass them.
** You can't have everything, where would you put it?
** Latest survey shows that 3 out of 4 people make up 75% of the world's
population.
** If the shoe fits, get another one just like it.
** The things that come to those that wait may be the things left by those
who got there first.
** Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he
will sit in a boat drinking beer all day.
** Flashlight: A case for holding dead batteries.
** Shin: A device for finding furniture in the dark.
** As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in public schools.
** When you're swimming in the creek, and an eel bites your cheek, that's a
moray!
** A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.
** It was recently discovered that research causes cancer in rats.
** Everybody lies, but it doesn't matter since nobody listens.
** I wished the buck stopped here, as I could use a few.
** I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.
** When you go into court you are putting yourself in the hands of 12 people
that weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty.
** Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright
until you hear them speak.
Related:
- What's the difference between a banjo and a(n)...
Chain Saw
( 1.) a chain saw has a dynamic range. ( 2.) you can turn a chain saw off.... - W H Y C O P S H A T E Y O U <<<<&l
< -if you have to ask get out of the way- Have you ever been stopped by a traffic cop and, while he was writing a ticket or giving you a warning, you got the feeling that he would just love to yank you out of the car, right through the window, and smash your face into the front fender?... - From The Wit of Steven Wright:
** Last night I played a blank tape at full blast.
The mime next door went nuts. ** If a person with multiple personalities threatens suicide, is that considered a hostage situation?... - Edited by Brad Templeton. MAIL, yes MAIL your jokes to watmath!
looking!funny . Attribute the joke's source if at all possible.... - A black guy and a gorilla go into a bar together. He says to the
bartender, "I'd like a beer, and a gin and tonic for my girlfriend here.
The bartender says, "Oh come on, pal, we don't serve no gorillas in here.... - 81 Rules and Instructions on Being A Man
1. Don't call.
EVER. 2. If you don't like a girl, don't tell her.... - 100 Ways to Confuse Your Roommate
1. Insist that you are a vegetarian and protest anytime your roommate
eats meat.
Then leave "Slim Jim" wrappers on the floor and lie on the bed holding your stomach everytime your roommate walks in.... - THE LATEST AND GREATEST AS COMPILED ON 18th October 1991
The Complete Set Of Blonde Jokes (167) -------------------------------------- Revision 3.... - The ark lands after The Flood. Noah lets all the animals out.
Says, "Go and multiply." Several months pass. Noah decides to check up on the animals....

