Things That Make You Go Hmmm...
** It is hard to understand how a cemetery raised its burial cost and blamed
it on the cost of living.
** Just remember...if the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off.
** The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something
right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.
** It is said that if you line up all the cars in the world end to end,
someone would be stupid enough to try and pass them.
** You can't have everything, where would you put it?
** Latest survey shows that 3 out of 4 people make up 75% of the world's
population.
** If the shoe fits, get another one just like it.
** The things that come to those that wait may be the things left by those
who got there first.
** Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he
will sit in a boat drinking beer all day.
** Flashlight: A case for holding dead batteries.
** Shin: A device for finding furniture in the dark.
** As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in public schools.
** When you're swimming in the creek, and an eel bites your cheek, that's a
moray!
** A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.
** It was recently discovered that research causes cancer in rats.
** Everybody lies, but it doesn't matter since nobody listens.
** I wished the buck stopped here, as I could use a few.
** I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.
** When you go into court you are putting yourself in the hands of 12 people
that weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty.
** Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright
until you hear them speak.
** It is hard to understand how a cemetery raised its burial cost and blamed
it on the cost of living.
** Just remember...if the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off.
** The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something
right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.
** It is said that if you line up all the cars in the world end to end,
someone would be stupid enough to try and pass them.
** You can't have everything, where would you put it?
** Latest survey shows that 3 out of 4 people make up 75% of the world's
population.
** If the shoe fits, get another one just like it.
** The things that come to those that wait may be the things left by those
who got there first.
** Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he
will sit in a boat drinking beer all day.
** Flashlight: A case for holding dead batteries.
** Shin: A device for finding furniture in the dark.
** As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in public schools.
** When you're swimming in the creek, and an eel bites your cheek, that's a
moray!
** A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.
** It was recently discovered that research causes cancer in rats.
** Everybody lies, but it doesn't matter since nobody listens.
** I wished the buck stopped here, as I could use a few.
** I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.
** When you go into court you are putting yourself in the hands of 12 people
that weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty.
** Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright
until you hear them speak.
Related:
- What's the difference between a banjo and a(n)...
Chain Saw:
( 1.) a chain saw has a dynamic range. ( 2.) you can... - W H Y C O P S H A T E Y O U <<<<<<
-if you have to ask get out of the way-
Have you ever been stopped by a traffic cop and, while... - From The Wit of Steven Wright:
** Last night I played a blank tape at full blast.
The mime next door went nuts. ** If a person with... - Edited by Brad Templeton. MAIL, yes MAIL your jokes to watmath!looking!funny .
Attribute the joke's source if at all possible. I... - A black guy and a gorilla go into a bar together. He says to the
bartender,
"I'd like a beer, and a gin and tonic for my girlfriend... - 81 Rules and Instructions on Being A Man
1. Don't call.
EVER. 2. If you don't like a girl, don't tell her.... - 100 Ways to Confuse Your Roommate
1. Insist that you are a vegetarian and protest anytime your roommate
eats meat.
Then leave "Slim Jim" wrappers on the floor and lie... - THE LATEST AND GREATEST AS COMPILED ON 18th October 1991,
The Complete Set Of Blonde Jokes (167) ... - The ark lands after The Flood. Noah lets all the animals out.
Says, "Go and multiply." Several months pass. Noah...
From the same category:
- The Engineer
There was an engineer who had an exceptional gift for fixing all things
mechanical.
After serving his company loyally for over 30 years... - Two Priests...
Two priests died at the same time and met Saint Peter at the Pearly Gates.
St. Peter said, "I'd like to get you guys in now, but... - How To Install Software:
1. Examine the software packaging until you find a little printed box that
explains what kind of computer system you need to run the software.
It should look something like... - A pheasant was standing in a field chatting to a bull.
"I would love to be able to get to the top of yonder... - I heard this one a few years ago in East Germany...
Erich Honnecker (the president of East Germany) was...
