If A Man Says Something In The Forrest, And There Is No Woman There To Hear It, .

HomeShort JokesJokes from Emails

If a man says something in the forrest, and there is no woman there
to hear it, ...is he still wrong?
-- Anonymous
When a man goes on a date he wonders if he is going to get lucky. A woman
already knows.
-- Frederick Ryder
Men get laid, but women get screwed.
-- Quentin Crisp (English writer)
Women need a reason to have sex -- men just need a place.
-- Billy Crystal.
I love the lines the men use to get us into bed. "Please, I'll only put it
in for a minute." What am I, a microwave?
-- Beverly Mickins (American comedienne)
Do you know why the Lord withheld the sense of humor from women? So that we
may love you instead of laugh at you.
-- Mrs. Patrick Campbell (English actress)
A woman's appetite is twice that of a man's; her sexual desire, four times;
her intelligence, eight times.
-- Sanskrit proverb
There's very little advice in men's magazines, because men don't think
there's a lot they don't know. Women do. Women want to learn. Men think, "I
know what I'm doing, just show me somebody naked."
-- Jerry Seinfeld
March isn't the only thing that's in like a lion, out like a lamb.
-- Anonymous
Women still remember the first kiss after men have forgotten the last.
-- Remy de Gourmant (French writer)
A man loses his sense of direction after four drinks; a woman loses hers
after four kisses.
-- H.L. Mencken (American writer, 1888-1956)
When women hold off from marrying men, we call it independence.When men hold
off from marrying women, we call it fear of commitment.
-- Warren Farrell (American Psychologist)
Only two things are necessary to keep one's wife happy. One is to let her
think she is having her own way, and the other is to let her have it.
-- Lyndon B. Johnson
Why get married and make one man miserable when I can stay single and make
thousands miserable?
-- Carrie Snow
The Lord made man before woman to give him time to think of an answer for
her first question.
-- Anonymous