The latest terminology used by the modern day warrior...
Blamestorming - Sitting around in a group, discussing why a deadline was
missed or a project failed, and who was responsible.
Body Nazis - Hard-core exercise and weight-lifting fanatics who look down on
anyone who doesn't work out obsessively.
Seagull Manager - A manager who flies in, makes a lot of noise, shits over
everything and then leaves.
Chainsaw Consultant - An outside expert brought in to reduce the employee
head count, leaving the top brass with clean hands.
Cube Farm - An office filled with cubicles.
Idea Hamsters - People who always seem to have their idea generators
Mouse Potato - The on-line, wired generation's answer to the couch potato.
SITCOMs - What yuppies turn into when they have children and one of them
stops working to stay home with the kids. Stands for Single Income, Two
Children, Oppressive Mortgage.
Squirt the Bird - To transmit a signal to a satellite.
Starter Marriage - A short-lived first marriage that ends in divorce with no
kids, no property and no regrets.
Stress Puppy - A person who seems to thrive on being stressed out and whiny.
Swiped Out - An ATM or credit card that has been rendered useless because
the magnetic strip is worn away from
Treeware - Hacker slang for documentation or other printed material.
Xerox Subsidy - Euphemism for swiping free photocopies from one's workplace.
Assmosis - The process by which some people seem to absorb success and
advancement by kissing up to the boss rather than working hard.
Chips and Salsa - Chips = hardware, salsa = software. Well, first we gotta
figure out if the problem's in your chips
or your salsa."
Irritainment - Entertainment and media spectacles that are annoying, but you
find yourself unable to stop watching them. The O.J. trials were a prime
Percussive Maintenance - The fine art of whacking the crap out of an
electronic device to get it to work again.
Uninstalled - Euphemism for being fired. Heard on the voicemail of a vice
president at a downsizing computer firm: "You have reached the number of an
uninstalled vice president. Please dial our main number and ask the operator
for assistance." See also Decruitment.
W H Y C O P S H A T E Y O U <<<<&l <
-if you have to ask get out of the way-
Have you ever been stopped by a traffic cop and, while he was
writing a ticket or giving you a warning, you got the feeling that
he would just love to yank you out of the car, right through the
window, and smash your face into the front fender?...