Rules that guys wished girls knew
** If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
** Learn to work the toilet seat. When the lid is up, put it down.
** Birthdays, valentimes, and anniversaries are not quests to find that
perfect present,,,,again.
** If you ask a question you don't want an answer to , expect an answer you
don't want to hear.
** Sometimes we're not thinking about you. Live with it.
** Sunday sports-- -- it's like the full moon, or the changing of the tides.
It can't be altered, so just let it be.
** Don't ask us what we're thinking, unless you are prepared to discuss such
topics as sex, shortstops, or carburators.
** Shopping is not a sport.
** Anything you wear is fine. Really!
** You have enough clothes.
** You have too many shoes.
** Ask for what you want. Subtle hints don't work.
** No, we don`t know what day it is. We never will. Mark all anniversaries
on a caleneder.
** Yes, peeing standing up is harder than peeing from point blank range.
We're bound to miss sometime.
** Most guys own 2 or 3 pairs of shoes. What makes you think we'd be any
good at choosing which pair out if 30 would look good with your dress?
** Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers.
** A headache that lasts for 17 days is a problem. See a doctor.
** Your mom doesn't have to be our best friend.
** Don`t fake it. We'd rather be ineffective than deceived.
** Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissable in an argument. All
comments become null and void after7 days.
** If something we said can be interpreted 2 ways, and one of the ways makes
you sad or angry, then we meant the other one.
** You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done,
but not both.
** Let us ogle. If we don't look at other women, how can we know how pretty
you are?
** Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during
commercials.
** Christopher Columbus didn't need directions, and neither do we.
** If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
** Learn to work the toilet seat. When the lid is up, put it down.
** Birthdays, valentimes, and anniversaries are not quests to find that
perfect present,,,,again.
** If you ask a question you don't want an answer to , expect an answer you
don't want to hear.
** Sometimes we're not thinking about you. Live with it.
** Sunday sports-- -- it's like the full moon, or the changing of the tides.
It can't be altered, so just let it be.
** Don't ask us what we're thinking, unless you are prepared to discuss such
topics as sex, shortstops, or carburators.
** Shopping is not a sport.
** Anything you wear is fine. Really!
** You have enough clothes.
** You have too many shoes.
** Ask for what you want. Subtle hints don't work.
** No, we don`t know what day it is. We never will. Mark all anniversaries
on a caleneder.
** Yes, peeing standing up is harder than peeing from point blank range.
We're bound to miss sometime.
** Most guys own 2 or 3 pairs of shoes. What makes you think we'd be any
good at choosing which pair out if 30 would look good with your dress?
** Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers.
** A headache that lasts for 17 days is a problem. See a doctor.
** Your mom doesn't have to be our best friend.
** Don`t fake it. We'd rather be ineffective than deceived.
** Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissable in an argument. All
comments become null and void after7 days.
** If something we said can be interpreted 2 ways, and one of the ways makes
you sad or angry, then we meant the other one.
** You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done,
but not both.
** Let us ogle. If we don't look at other women, how can we know how pretty
you are?
** Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during
commercials.
** Christopher Columbus didn't need directions, and neither do we.
Related:
- Rules That Guys Wished Women Knew
1. If you think your fat, you probably are.
Don't ask us. 2. Learn to work the toilet seat; if it's up, put it down 3.... - If men were to rewrite the rules:
Rule # 1: Anything we said six or eight months ago is inadmissible in an
argument.
All comments become null and void after seven days.... - What's the difference between a banjo and a(n)...
Chain Saw
( 1.) a chain saw has a dynamic range. ( 2.) you can turn a chain saw off.... - ALIEN ZOMBIE & THE CONGO LIZARDS
You’re in luck.
As my luck would have it, I made my bones in a musical family.
Grandpop slapped ivories at the Congo, and Daddy-O moonlit his rocket ‘88 in the lizard lounges.... - The ark lands after The Flood. Noah lets all the animals out.
Says, "Go and multiply." Several months pass. Noah decides to check up on the animals.... - How about that footage on the news yesterday of our new Commander-in-
Chief on the deck of the aircraft carrier (Teddy Roosevelt?
).. After throwing one of his snappy salutes (he's *almost* got that down), I half expected him to give the order, "Let's turn this thang around.... - W H Y C O P S H A T E Y O U <<<<&l
< -if you have to ask get out of the way- Have you ever been stopped by a traffic cop and, while he was writing a ticket or giving you a warning, you got the feeling that he would just love to yank you out of the car, right through the window, and smash your face into the front fender?... - NEWS BULLETIN - Men and women are NOT alike.
Sure, you thought you already knew that.
But now we have proof! After countless hours of surveys and studies on the following topics, these facts have emerged... - Edited by Brad Templeton. MAIL, yes MAIL your jokes to watmath!
looking!funny . Attribute the joke's source if at all possible....

