"Tidbits"
Bachelors should be heavily taxed. It's not fair that some men should be
happier than others.
I misplaced my dictionary. Now I'm at a loss for words.
Why does the term jerk apply only to men?
The reason I turned down an extramarital affair is because my wife found the
key to my gun cabinet.
My wife tends to leave well enough alone. Unfortunately, things are rarely
well enough.
Why do they rate a movie "R" for "adult language?" The only people I hear
using that language are teenagers.
Homeless man's sign at corner of 14th Street: "Why lie? I need a beer."
The difference between insane asylums and our schools is that in the insane
asylum you have to show some improvement before you can get out.
To err is human, to moo, bovine.
I've got you beat. I saw a woman driver changing her clothes on an exit
ramp.
What comes first, new schools or portable classrooms?
I'm a New Yorker, and the first time someone asked me if I was a Yankee, I
misunderstood and said, "No, I like the Mets."
To the person complaining about dialing 10 digits to reach a next-door
neighbor: Try walking! And we wonder why half of the adults in America are
overweight!
Free one dollar bills! Please send $4.95 to cover postage & handling. (Limit
$1 per order).
A Columbia lawyer was well into a lengthy cross-examination of a witness,
stopped and said: "Your honor, a juror is asleep." The Judge ruled: "You put
him to sleep; YOU wake him up."
I really had the urge to get in a good fight, so I signed my whole family up
to be on the Jerry Springer Show.
Ever wonder what would happen if the people you lie to on the Internet found
out who you really are?
There's a saying in Washington that if you're not completely confused, then
you're totally uninformed.
When it snows, do the home school kids get the day off?
Roses are red, Violet is blue. That's because Violet is a nudist in Alaska.
I always try to count my blessing, but I am no good at fractions.
Bachelors should be heavily taxed. It's not fair that some men should be
happier than others.
I misplaced my dictionary. Now I'm at a loss for words.
Why does the term jerk apply only to men?
The reason I turned down an extramarital affair is because my wife found the
key to my gun cabinet.
My wife tends to leave well enough alone. Unfortunately, things are rarely
well enough.
Why do they rate a movie "R" for "adult language?" The only people I hear
using that language are teenagers.
Homeless man's sign at corner of 14th Street: "Why lie? I need a beer."
The difference between insane asylums and our schools is that in the insane
asylum you have to show some improvement before you can get out.
To err is human, to moo, bovine.
I've got you beat. I saw a woman driver changing her clothes on an exit
ramp.
What comes first, new schools or portable classrooms?
I'm a New Yorker, and the first time someone asked me if I was a Yankee, I
misunderstood and said, "No, I like the Mets."
To the person complaining about dialing 10 digits to reach a next-door
neighbor: Try walking! And we wonder why half of the adults in America are
overweight!
Free one dollar bills! Please send $4.95 to cover postage & handling. (Limit
$1 per order).
A Columbia lawyer was well into a lengthy cross-examination of a witness,
stopped and said: "Your honor, a juror is asleep." The Judge ruled: "You put
him to sleep; YOU wake him up."
I really had the urge to get in a good fight, so I signed my whole family up
to be on the Jerry Springer Show.
Ever wonder what would happen if the people you lie to on the Internet found
out who you really are?
There's a saying in Washington that if you're not completely confused, then
you're totally uninformed.
When it snows, do the home school kids get the day off?
Roses are red, Violet is blue. That's because Violet is a nudist in Alaska.
I always try to count my blessing, but I am no good at fractions.
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