ALCOHOL WARNING LABELS If government is going to put health warning labels on beer,

ALCOHOL WARNING LABELS
If government is going to put health warning labels on beer, wine and
liquor, let's at least have a little truthfulness about the matter!
WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to wake up with breath that
could knock a buzzard off a shit truck at 100 yards.
WARNING: Consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like an idiot.
WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are
really dying for you to telephone them at 4 in the morning.
WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell the same boring story
over and over again until your friends want to smash your head in.
WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to thay shings like thish.
WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell the boss what you
REALLY THINK while photocopying your butt at the office Christmas party.
WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell ever
happened to your pants (panties) anyway.
WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to roll over in the morning
and see something really scary (whose species and/or name you can't
remember).
WARNING: Consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable rug
burn on the forehead.
WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are
tougher, handsomer, and smarter than some really, really huge biker guy
named "Big Al".