Jimmy Stewart, Roseanne Barr, and Saddam Hussein all reached the
Pearly Gates at the same time. St. Peter said, "Ah, you're Jimmy
"R-r-right. That's me."
"All you have to do to come in is spell `cat.'"
"W-w-well, okay. C-c... well, I know there's a c; there's gotta be a
St. Peter thought, "This is going to take a long time. Why don't you
go over there and sit down for awhile. When you get it together, I'll
come back to you."
Roseanne Barr comes up there. "Well, let's see," said St. Peter.
"You're Roseanne Barr."
"All you have to do to come in is to use the word `canoe' in a
She said, "Oh, say canoe you see..."
He said, Well, that's close enough. You can come on in."
Hussein came up there, and St. Peter said, "Let's see. You're Saddam
Hussein. Are you the guy from Iraq?"
He said, "Yeah, that's me."
He said, "All you have to do to come in is to spell Arnold
W H Y C O P S H A T E Y O U <<<<&l <
-if you have to ask get out of the way-
Have you ever been stopped by a traffic cop and, while he was
writing a ticket or giving you a warning, you got the feeling that
he would just love to yank you out of the car, right through the
window, and smash your face into the front fender?...