In The Courtroom

In The Courtroom

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Q: Officer, what led you to believe that the defendant was under the influence?
A: Because he was argumentary and he couldn't pronounciate his words....
Q: You say you are innocent, yet five people swore they saw you steal the watch.
A: Your Honor, I can produce 500 people who didn't see me steal it....
Q: In court: A: At the time you first saw Dr. Smith, had you seen him prior to that time?
Q: Please state the location of your right foot immediately prior to impact.
A: At the time my right foot was located at the extreme end of my right leg....
Q: Just what did you do to try to prevent the accident?
A: I closed my eyes and screamed as loud as I could....
Q: So your name is John Smith.And what is your marital status? A: Fair.
Q: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?
A: All of my autopsies have been performed on dead people....
Q: Yes, I was acquainted with the decendent. A: Before or after he died?
Q: Then he says 'I have to kill you because you can identify me'. A: Did he kill you?
Q: Is your appearance this morning pursuant to the deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
A: No. This is how I dress when I go to work....

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