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• 100 Ways to Confuse Your Roommate 1. Insist that you are a vegetarian and protest anytime your roommate eats meat.
  Then leave "Slim Jim" wrappers on the floor and lie on the bed holding your stomach everytime your roommate walks in....
• W H Y C O P S H A T E Y O U <<<<&l
  < -if you have to ask get out of the way- Have you ever been stopped by a traffic cop and, while he was writing a ticket or giving you a warning, you got the feeling that he would just love to yank you out of the car, right through the window, and smash your face into the front fender?...
• Run into the exam room looking about frantically. Breathe a sigh of relief.
  Go to the instructor, say "They've found me, I have to leave the country" and run off....
• Three college students shared an apartment. Every night one of the guys would go out and get drunk, come home at 2
  00 AM, and puke in the kitchen sink. The other two guys were getting plenty upset so they decided to play a joke on him....
• Once upon a time there was a mathematician who found an equation for GOD.
  It was, of course, a very complicated equation but, she figured, all she had to do was find a computer system which (1) had a large enough memory to store all the necessary variables and (2) was fast enough to gather all the information together....
• Four friends have been doing really well in their calculus cla
  hey have been getting top grades for their homework and on the midterm....
• HOW TO KEEP A HEALTHY LEVEL OF INSANITY ** At lunchtime, sit in your parked car w/sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars.
  See if they slow down. ** Page yourself over the intercom....
• A tribe of Native Americans generally referred to their woman by the animal hide with which they made their blanket.
  Thus, one woman might be known as Squaw of Buffalo Hide, while another might be known as Squaw of Deer Hide....
• YOU KNOW YOU'RE ADDICTED TO THE INTERNET WHEN: * You take a vacation, but only after buying a cellular modem and a laptop.
  * You spend half of the plane trip with your laptop on your lap ....