HOW COLD IS IT? An Annotated Thermometer (degrees Fahrenheit) +50 * New York Tenants Turn On The Heat * Minnesotans Plant Gardens +40 * Californians Shiver Uncontrollably * Minnesotans Sunbathe +35 * Italian Cars Don't Start +32 * Distilled Water Freezes +30 * You Can See Your Breath * You Plan A Vacation In Florida * Politicians Begin To Worry About The Homeless * Minnesotans Eat Ice Cream +25 * Boston Water Freezes * Californians Weep Pitiably * Cat Insists On Sleeping On Your Bed With You +20 * Cleveland Water Freezes * San Franciscans Start Thinking Favorably Of LA * Green Bay Packers Fans Put On T-shirts +15 * You Plan A Vacation To Cancun * Minnesotans Go Swimming +10 * Politicians Begin To Talk About The Homeless * Too Cold To Snow * You Need Jumper Cables To Get The Car Going 0 * New York Landlords Turn On The Heat -5 * You Can Hear Your Breath * You Plan A Vacation In Hawaii -10 * American Cars Don't Start * Too Cold To Skate -15 * You Can Cut Your Breath And Use It To Build An Igloo * Miamians Cease To Exist * Minnesotans Lick Flagpoles -20 * Cat Insists On Sleeping In Your Pajamas With You * Politicians Actually Do Something About The Homeless * People In LaCrosse Think About Taking Down Screens -25 * Too Cold To Kiss * You Need Jumper Cables To Get The Driver Going * Japanese Cars Don't Start * Minnesota Twins Head For Spring Training -30 * You Plan A Two-week Hot Bath * Bock Beer Production Begins * Minnesotans Shovel Snow Off Roof -38 * Mercury Freezes * Too Cold To Think * Minnesotans Button Top Button -40 * Californians Disappear * Car Insists On Sleeping In Your Bed With You * Minnesotans Put On Sweaters -50 * Congressional Hot Air Freezes * Alaskans Close The Bathroom Window * Green Bay Packers Practice Indoors -60 * Walruses Abandon Aleutians * Minnesotans Put Gloves Away

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