Learn To Levitate. While Your Roommate Is Looking Away, Float Up Out Of Your Seat.

Related:

• 100 Ways to Confuse Your Roommate 1. Insist that you are a vegetarian and protest anytime your roommate eats meat.
  Then leave "Slim Jim" wrappers on the floor and lie on the bed holding your stomach everytime your roommate walks in....
• Shoot rubber bands at your roommate while his/her back is turned, and then look away quickly.
• Yugo A guy driving a Yugo pulls up at a stoplight next to a Rolls-Royce.
  The driver of the Yugo rolls down his window and shouts to the driver of the Rolls, "Hey, buddy, that's a nice car....
• MIND GAMES DOGS PLAY WITH HUMANS 1. After your humans give you a bath, DON'T LET THEM TOWEL DRY YOU!
  Instead, run to their bed, jump up and dry yourself off on the sheets....
• Mind Games Dogs Play With Humans ** After your humans give you a bath, DON'T LET THEM TOWEL DRY YOU!
  Instead, run to their bed, jump up and dry yourself off on the sheets....
• YOU MIGHT BE AN ENGINEER IF... A team of you and your co-workers have set out to modify the antenna on the radio in your work area for better reception All your sentences begin with "what if" At Christma
  it goes without saying that you will be the one to find the burnt-out bulb in the string Buying flowers for your girlfriend or spending the money to upgrade your RAM is a moral dilemma Dilbert is your hero Everyone else on the Alaskan cruise is on deck peering at the scenery, and you are still on a personal tour of the engine room In college you thought Spring Break was a metal fatigue failure On vacation, you are reading a computer manual and turning the pages faster than someone else who is reading a John Grisham novel People groan at the party when you pick out the music The blinking 12...
• Things to do When Bored -Wax the ceiling -Rearrange political campaign signs -Sharpen your teeth -Play Houdini with one of your siblings -Braid your dog's hair -Clean and polish your belly button -Water your dog.
  ..see if he grows -Wash a tree -Knight yourself -Name your child Edsel -Scare Stephen King -Give your cat a mohawk -Purr -Mow your carpet -Play Pat Boone records backwards -Vacuum your lawn -Whine -Rake your carpet -Re-elect Richard Nixon -Critique "Three's Company" -Listen to a painting -Play with matches -Buff your cat -Race ferrets -Paint your house....
• 100 reasons why it's great to be a girl 1. free dinners 2.
  free lunches 3. free brunches 4. free movies (you get the point) 5....
• SIGNS THAT YOU ARE TOO DRUNK: You lose arguments with inanimate objects.
  You have to hold onto the lawn to keep from falling off the earth....