In the United States you can't buy anything for zlotys and in
Poland you can't either, while in the U.S. you can get whatever you
want for dollars, just as you can in Poland.
--
{ed A JEDR is an generic acryonym for a Joke Ethnic/Denomination/Race. It is
pronounced "Jedder."}
A large oil field in Oklahoma suffers a disaster in the form of a huge rig
fire. The foreman, desperate to curtail the blaze, thumbs thru the phone book
for Red Adare's number (Red is a famous oil-firefighter). Foreman finds the
number, calls, and is told that Red is unavailable, since he's fighting an
off-shore rig fire in Southern California.
Desperate, the foreman returns to the book and finds, listed under Red Adare,
a "Red <suitable JEDR surname>", advertising rig fire services at $100 per
hour. Since this is CONSIDERABLY cheaper than Adare anyway, the guy calls and
describes the situation. He is assured that someone will be on the scene
within the hour.
True to his word, within 45 minutes the foreman sees a vehicle approaching the
scene of the blaze at top speed. As it gets closer, he notes that it is a
grungy '68 pickup, with a load of JEDRs in the back. Without slowing,
the pickup drives directly into the middle of the fire, everyone in the back
jumps out with soaking-wet blankets, and with intense screaming and running
around, proceed to beat out the fire completely.
Red approaches the foreman and gives him a bill for $100 (one hour minimum)
The foreman is so impressed, he offers him an additional $500 bonus for the
prompt and effective work. "Man, this will REALLY help" says Red.
"Oh?" says the foreman. "How so?"
"Now I can go buy brakes for the truck."
(Here are some more ethnic jokes to offend new constituencies.)
= = = = = = = = =
A Dutch joke about Belgians:
Q: Why wasn't Jesus born in Belgium?
A: God couldn't find three wise men in Belgium.
(source: a colleague's friend in Holland)
A pair of Missouri jokes about Arkansas:
Q: What's considered foreplay in Arkansas?
A: When the man says, "Brace yourself, Linda Lou."
(source: Johnny Carson's list of state jokes
collected by his staff and aired about
6 years ago)
Q: How do you tell if an Arkansas girl is old enough to marry?
A: Make her stand in a barrel. If her chin is over the top,
she's old enough. If it isn't, cut the barrel
down a bit.
(source: ???? I was raised in Missouri--I heard
this one about 10 years ago)
A standard one:
Q: Why did God make North Dakota?
A: To protect Canada from South Dakota!
(source: I've heard it all over. I think it
surfaced on the same Carson show using
Minnesota and Iowa.)
