NEW BRUNSWICK, N.J. (UPI) -- President Clinton Said Monday Life Is More Dangerous In America Than In War-torn Somalia For Many People Because Of A Glut Of Firearms And Endorsed Passage Of A Bill Requring A Five-day Waiting Period Before A Handgun May Be Purchased.

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NEW BRUNSWICK, N.J. (UPI) -- President Clinton said Monday life is
more dangerous in America than in war-torn Somalia for many people
because of a glut of firearms and endorsed passage of a bill requring a
five-day waiting period before a handgun may be purchased.

Bumper sticker on Arkansan car:
If you can read this
You're not from here

The Secret Service has been worried by Bill Clinton's practice
of taking early morning jogs. They got a real scare the other
day when somebody threw a beer at the president. Fortunately,
it turned out to have been a draft, and Clinton was able to
dodge it.

"I celebrated Presidents' Day in an authentic manner. I jogged to McDonald's,
had a couple Big Macs, broke some promises from a couple months ago, and
then took some money from some average middle-class citizens."

Subject: Heard this on CNN
A condom manufacturer, trying to capitalize on the popularity (?) of
President Bill Clinton, is introducing a new line of condoms called the
"Slick Willie."
[I assume its lubricated...]

Bill Clinton will launch health consciousness campaign and promote
jogging and reportedly he asked Hillary would she run.
"No", she said,"not now, not until '96."

Hillary, Billary, and Socks,
with the Clintons, the White House surly rocks.
But will the nation come to grips,
when, in the spirit of "Read my lips",
we fill in more in the "Amount you owe" box.

CLINTONIA - any of a genus of herbs of the lily family with
yellow flowers on a naked stalk.


* Nathan Mates nathan@cco.caltech.edu * MSC #850, Pasadena CA 91126
* No fancy quote, no disclaimers for irate employers, no .sig-- oops,
* Too late for that! Several Megabyte joke collector and IIGS hacker
* operating out of Caltech, the world's best place for an education!

Newsgroups: rec.humor
From: nathan@cco.caltech.edu (Nathan Mates)
Subject: Clinton Jokes... Getting longer :)
Message-ID: <1pg5aeINN6sq@gap.caltech.edu>
Date: 2 Apr 1993 01:36:14 GMT
Organization: California Institute of Technology, Pasadena
Lines: 2166

Well, thanks to the generous people who find it in the bottom of their
hearts to respect the prez, and find their wallets threatened enough to
tell jokes. This is the biggest collection I know about; if you have any
more jokes, I'd love to hear them. This file and others are available by
anonymous ftp from cco.caltech.edu, in the directory pub/humor/political...

Nathan

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