Related:

• Various Nights Before Christmas... A Microsoft Christmas 'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house Not a creature was stirring, except Papa's mouse.
  The computer was humming, the icons were hopping, As Papa did last minute Internet shopping....
• Unknown From: SilkyKW There are approximately two billion children (persons under 18) in the world.
  However, since Santa does not visit children of Muslim, Hindu, Jewish or Buddhist (except maybe in Japan) religions, this reduces the workload for Christmas night to 15% of the total, or 378 million (according to the Population Reference Bureau)....
• HAVE A MICROSOFT CHRISTMAS 'Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the house Not a creature was stirring, except father's mouse.
  The computer was humming, the icons were hopping, As father did last-minute Internet shopping....
• Santa's Bad Day... One particular Christmas season a long time ago, Santa was getting ready for his annual trip, but there were problems everywhere.
  Four of his elves got sick, and the trainee elves did not produce the toys as fast as the regular ones so Santa was beginning to feel the pressure of being behind schedule....
• By Lore Shoberg, velcro@ucscb.ucsc.
• By Lore Shoberg, velcro@ucscb.ucsc.EDU SANTA CLAUS IS WEILDING A GUN (to the tune of "Santa Claus Is Coming To Town") Oh
  you better watch out You better not pry You better stay back I'm telling you why Santa Claus is wielding a gun He's making a list And checking it twice Gonna find out who He's gonna ice Santa Claus is wielding a gun Don't give him any trouble He'll blow you right away Don't give him any cause to shoot Or you'll make his Christmas Day Oh, you better believe He's packing a rod No coal in your stocking Just lead in your bod Santa Claus is wielding a gun He doesn't want cookies Or none of that crud He doesn't want milk What he wants is your blood Santa Claus is wielding a gun (Music Bridge, with automatic arms fire) He doesn't trust nobody Shot all his reindeer dead Thought Dancer was a sissy And thought Rudoulph was a red Oh, you better watch out You better not pry You better stay back I'm telling you why Santa Claus is wielding a gun (c) 1987 Lore Shoberg, velcro@ucscb....
• Santa Sued For Checking List Twice... AUSTIN, TX (Dec.
  23) - Attorneys for filed suit in federal court today, seeking to prevent Santa Claus from making his list and then checking it twice....
• Christmas 2000 A new contract for Santa has finally been negotiated.
  ...Please read the following carefully....... I regret to inform you that, effective immediately, I will no longer be able to serve Southern United States on Christmas Eve....
• What's the difference between a banjo and a(n)... Chain Saw
  ( 1.) a chain saw has a dynamic range. ( 2.) you can turn a chain saw off....