DEAR (Your Choice)
I Have Been Watching You Very Closely To See If You Have Been Good This
Year, And If You Are, I Will Have Some Special Treats For You This Year At
XMAS.
I have been watching you very closely to see if you have been good this
year, and if you are, I will have some special treats for you this year at
XMAS.
I cannot promise you all the gifts from the twelve days of XMAS this year
as the twelve fiddlers have all come down with the clap from fiddling with
the ten ladies dancing. The eleven lords a-leaping have knocked up the
eight maids a-milking, and the nine pipers piping have been arrested for
doing weird things with the seven swans a-swiming. The six geese alaying,
four calling birds, three french hens, two turtle doves, and that damn
partridge in the pear tree have me up to my ass in bird shit.
On top of that, Mrs. Claus is going through menopause, eight of my reinder
are in heat, the elves have joined the Gay Liberation Front, and those
stupid polacks have scheduled Xmas for 5 February.
SANTA
Related:
The "Politically Correct" Days of Christmas...
On the 12th day of the Eurocentrically imposed midwinter festival, my
Significant Other in a consenting adult, monogamous relationship gave to
me
TWELVE males reclaiming their inner warrior through ritual drumming,
ELEVEN pipers piping (plus the 18-member pit orchestra made up of
members in good standing of the Musicians Equity Union as called for
in their union contract even though they will not be asked to play a
note),
TEN melanin deprived testosterone-poisoned scions of the patriarchal
ruling class system leaping,
NINE persons engaged in rhythmic self-expression,
EIGHT economically disadvantaged female persons stealing milk-products
from enslaved Bovine-Americans,
SEVEN endangered swans swimming on federally protected wetlands,
SIX enslaved Fowl-Americans producing stolen non-human animal products,
FIVE golden symbols of culturally sanctioned enforced domestic
incarceration,
(NOTE...
On the 12th day of the Eurocentrically imposed midwinter festival, my
Significant Other in a consenting adult, monogamous relationship gave to me
TWELVE males reclaiming their inner warrior through ritual drumming,
ELEVEN pipers piping (plus the 18-member pit orchestra made up of members in
good standing of the Musicians Equity Union as called for in their union
contract even though they will not be asked to play a note),
TEN melanin deprived testosterone-poisoned scions of the patriarchal ruling
class system leaping,
NINE persons engaged in rhythmic self-expression,
EIGHT economically disadvantaged female persons stealing milk-products from
enslaved Bovine-Americans,
SEVEN endangered swans swimming on federally protected wetlands,
SIX enslaved Fowl-Americans producing stolen non-human animal products,
FIVE golden symbols of culturally sanctioned enforced domestic
incarceration,
(NOTE...
W H Y C O P S H A T E Y O U <<<<&l <
-if you have to ask get out of the way-
Have you ever been stopped by a traffic cop and, while he was
writing a ticket or giving you a warning, you got the feeling that
he would just love to yank you out of the car, right through the
window, and smash your face into the front fender?...
