Related:

• Monroe: Everyone comfy? Hmmph, good. Now don't touch any of those buttons in front of you for a very important reason.
  I.e., You are wired in to the rest of your family....
• If you want it, press [esc] now!
• Hello and Welcome to the Psychiatric Hotline ** If you are obsessive-compulsive, please press 1 repeatedly.
  If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2....
• Hi, you've reached the home of George Ledec. If you are calling to collect a student loan, gambling debt, or other obligation, please press 1 and hang up now.
  If you are selling any product or service, or requesting charitable donations, please press 2 and hang up now....
• TV: All-star Boxing was brought to you by "Doctor Marvin Monroe's Family Therapy Center".
  [Dr. Marvin Monroe waves.] Wife: Honey, aren't you going to work today?...
• Spouse, n.: Someone who'll stand by you through all the trouble you wouldn't have had if you'd stayed single.
• SPOUSE: Someone who'll stand by you through all the trouble you wouldn't have had if you'd stayed single.