Related:

• Burns: Well, we certainly got walloped tonight, eh, fellas?
  [laughs] Homer: Yeah, ha ha -- [gets kicked under the table] Well, Mr....
• Marge: Here you go, Bart. Bart: [reads the inscription] Springfield Kozy Kourt Motel, Room 26, How about it?
  Flash. Homer: Wow! Flash Baylor came onto my wife!...
• Jacques: First, you must get to know your lane. Feel the slickness, feel the slippery finish.
  Caresses it, experience it. Quite smooth, isn't it?...
• Homer: You know, boy, some of the players you see tonight may make it to the big leagues someday.
  Bart: What? Aren't we going to see any washed-up major-leaguers?...
• The world's most avid baseball fan (an Aggie) had arrived at the stadium for the first game of the World Series only to realize he had left his ticket at home.
  Not wanting to miss any of the first inning, he went to the ticket booth and got in a long line for another seat....
• Wait a minute, we're not having a drug test tomorrow, are we?
  -- Homer suspects a trap when Burns buys him a beer at the ball game, "Dancin' Home...
• We've got it great, here. And for the first time in my life, I'm actually good at my job.
  My team is way ahead of the weather machine and germ warfare divisions....
• Homer: [narrating] I was too tense to enjoy the game.
  Every ounce of concentration I possessed was focused on the task at hand....
• Everybody is talking about the weather but nobody does anything about it." -- Mark Twai