Related:

• Burns: Don't kill me... Abe: I ain't gonna kill ya, that'd be cowardly
  Monty Burns cowardly. I just want to watch you squirm....
• Burns: Then it's agreed. Of course, we can't sell the paintings now, we'd be caught.
  How many of you are familiar with the concept of a "tontine"?...
• Duh, hey! You said you was dead!
  -- Ox carries Burns out on a litter, "The Curse of the Flying Hellfish...
• Smithers: Sir, bad news from accounting: the economy's hit us pretty hard.
  Burns: Heh, tough times, huh? I've lived through twelve recessions, eight panics, and five years of McKinleynomics....
• Burns: [looking up from his magazine] Smithers, what's the meaning of this slacking off?
  Smithers: Uh, there's a bee in my eye, sir. Bu...
• Burns: I don't know what's happening. It seems our profits have dropped 37%.
  Smithers: I'm afraid we have a bad image, Sir. Market research shows people see you as something of an ogre....
• Burns: How would you improve the worker situation? Home
  Well, sir, for one thing, we have a problem every Tuesday when the cafeteria would serve fish sticks....
• Burns: Well, I'm off to get paintings; as they say, time is "Monets".
  As you were, Sergeant. [laughs] [pushes the wrong button on his crane, and ends up through another wall] Bu...
• Burns: Smithers, I've been thinking. Is it wrong to cheat to win a million-dollar bet?
  Smithers: Yes, sir. Burns: Let me rephrase that....