Man 1: I don't see why Rainier Wolfcastle should be the star.

Man 1: I don't see why Rainier Wolfcastle should be the star.
I think we should bring back Dirk Richter. Kids will
want to see the original Radioactive Man.
Assistant: I keep telling you, he's 73 years old and he's dead.
Man 1: Granted, but --
Director: Besides, we want to stay as far away from the campy 70s
version as possible.
[Batman-like flash to 70s version]
Fallout Boy: Billowing backpacks, Radioactive Man: it's the worst
villain of them all -- the Scoutmaster!
Radioactive Man: I see him, Fallout Boy.
Scoutmaster: [a la Paul Lynde] Go get 'em, scouts.
[Batman music plays as a large fight ensues]
Don't be afraid to use your nails, boys! [laughs]
[with each huge punch, onomatopoetic sounds appear:
ZUFF! PAN! SNUH! BORT! POOO! NEWT! MINT! ZAK!]
[a bunch of women run on and start boogying, as do
Radioactive Man, Fallout Boy, and all the scouts]
[in the present, the director shudders]
-- The decade of bad TV, "Radioactive Man"