Brad: Folks, I'm often asked about my qualifications. Well, I may not
have a lot of "credentials" or "training", but I tell you one
thing: I'm a Ph.D. in pain. Now let me show you how you can
change your life.
[Steps to a blackboard] Troy, this circle is you. [draws one]
Troy: My God, it's like you've known me all my life!
-- Accurate characterizations, "Bart's Inner Child"
have a lot of "credentials" or "training", but I tell you one
thing: I'm a Ph.D. in pain. Now let me show you how you can
change your life.
[Steps to a blackboard] Troy, this circle is you. [draws one]
Troy: My God, it's like you've known me all my life!
-- Accurate characterizations, "Bart's Inner Child"
Related:
- Brad: Principal Skinner, let's try some rage work. I want you to
pretend this dummy right here is your mother.
Skinner: OK, I'll try. Brad: Tell this dummy mother... - Troy: [laughing] That's too funny! I can't remember when I've heard a
funnier anecdote.
[laughing] All right, now you tell one. Selma: Well... - Ned: OK, folks, look: I called the police captain in Shelbyville.
He says he hasn't seen our kids, but if they show up... - Bart: [on walkie talkie] Milhouse! What's seven in roman numerals?
Milhouse: I'll tell you, Bart, but you really should... - Monica: Please tell me you_re stopping now.
Pete: I_m fine!
I'd fight tonight, if they_d let me. [stands up and... - Selma: You know, smoke actually smells good when it's coming out of
you.
Oh, I'm all out. Troy: Here, try one of my cigars... - Homer: Welcome to the Simpson residence or "casa de Simpson," as I
call it.
Grimes: Yeah, what did you want to see me about,... - Thank you, Martha Quinn. [Audience applauds]
There you have it:
unrehearsed testimonies from important celebrities... - Oh, hi! I'm Troy McClure. You might remember me from such self-help
videos as "Smoke Yourself Thin" and "Get Confident,
Stupid". Well, now I'm here to tell you about the...
